Very Mixed Signals... =*(

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Very Mixed Signals... =*(
2
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 3:42am
Ok This might be kinda long so i wil try to make it short.. I dated this guy for about 10 months, and absolutly fell in love with him.. we starting dating in Oklahoma and moved to Kansas to work at a gentlemen's bar as a waitress and a bouncer.. well about 7 months into it, we started to fight alot and it got really bad so we moved to OKC to try and work things out.. well after about 3 days of being there he dumped me so i moved back to kansas.. then about a month later we starting talking as friends and he moved back to kansas with me.. he has been living with me for about 8 months now and it's really starting to make me confused.. i mean he says all the time " Steph we are not together we have been broken up for 8 months just get over it" when we fight or when he lies about a girl he likes and tell me he doens't but then i find out he does.. and then his actions are he is very very flirty with me and we still sleep together.. and since we broke up i haven't started the sex at all...he has... but when i mention him liking a girl he gets mad and makes me feel like a little kid that just got a candy bar ripped out of her hand.. We do everything together and we have a good time but since we broke up i have noticed how much he lies.. and then the other day he said well i lied to you more now then i did then... so it makes me feels as if i should just let him go but i love him to much to do that.. I want him back i want him to like me as much as i used to.... please help me... I have no one else to turn to

Thanx for listening to my problems and i hope to hear form you soon

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 9:06am
stephwiseman...

Pianoguy thinks the 2 of you have a brother-sister friendship....but beyond that...NOTHING! There's already an established 'comfort-zone' where you can talk to each other about almost everything.

But a long-term commitment....I doubt it!

Emotional support with another human being is great...up to a point. But when "the day of reckoning" arrives...you have to look at what you have through a clear set of eyes. And it's clear (to Pianoguy) that a good friendship is the best you'll get from this man.

Just my opinion...

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 9:39am
He's telling you this isn't a relationship. This is a roommate with benefits situation.

I'm not sure what about it you don't get......other than you're in denial because you "want him/relationship" and you refuse to acknowledge that he's not in one with you.

But basically, one of these days you're giong to come home and find him in bed with osmeone else, or he's not going to come home one night and inform you that he's dating and sleeping with someone else.

He's not there to meet your needs, consider you as a partner out of respect and admiration. He's there because it's a cheap easy ride with the benefit of sex without obligation while he does whatever he wants.

Let me guess - you're paying most of the bills.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com