Vivid Dreams.. meaning?? Help PLZ..
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| Tue, 11-30-2004 - 12:49pm |
Hi All,
I really need some understanding and meaning to why i have been feeling the way i do..
Well let me first give some background to my story. I am 21 yrs old and am currently with my boyfriend who is 23 for about 10 months. We have a great relationship, we get along well and really enjoy each other's company. My previous relationship lasted for about a year and 1/2, and my X and i were like a rollar-coaster. We had an intense passion for each other, but he was very selffish at times.. (break plans last minute, put me on the back burner, conveince..etc). But i was in love with him, i guess the drama we had made me want him more, because it was like a chase. Its funny however, because he hurt me so much.. i cried and cried over him so often.. Anyway, finally i decided that i needed to end it,because i would cry more than smile. So i started dating my current bf shortly after (was a blind date created by my cousin and his best friend).
Well, after my x and i broke up, we still talked randomly and saw each other maybe 3x in the past 9 months. But even though i have been with my bf for 10 months and i care about him ALOT.. i still dream about my X, and these dreams are so real.. I dream that him and i are in the same room with my BF, and yet im looking at my X telling him i still love him. My most recent dream was last night.. that he was at my house and i kept telling him how cute he looked (its funny, because my current BF is absolutly gorgeous). Anyway.. My X emailed me about a month ago telling him how much he still loved me, and how he learned from his mistakes, and he would give anything to have me back. I know that in my heart our relationship was shaky but we loved each other.. he was my first love, my longest relationship, my mom really liked him (not my dad hehe.. he likes my current bf better.. but mom is the difficult one). Anyway i am so confused because these thoughts have been in my mind more and more often.. i dont want to leave my bf because he has been the sweetest, most caring guy ive been with.. but yet, i dont want to be untrue to myself.. is there something my subconscience is trying to tell me? Anyway, any feedback would be great.. thnks!!

Ciao,and greetings from Bellina! I like your name,sounds musical are you European,just
curious? I'm Italian born,but resided half of my life in England..Anyway,luv your romantic
complications seem to mirror a previous one I had.In my 20's after completing college major in art and interior design,moved from N.England town to swinging London,to pursue a new career.Rented a flat with my galpal Cassandra,to share rent.We had mutual career and
art backgrounds.Visited lots of galleries,I fell head over heals for a storeoowner of a modern/impressionist artcollections, also a talented sculpturer.We were compatible
in music,art,theatre,hobbies,loved cooking and traveling,etc..We were inseparable,very
intimate,caring and loved each other deeply.Til after 4 months later,said he was afraid
of hurting me,didn't see marriage or a serious commitment for at least 5 plus years.I
was hurt,but stayed another 2 months with him,hoping he'd change.Anyway parted,friends
though saw him at art dealer gatherings,social functions,never romantically.He introduced
me to his cousin,who resembled him,tall blonde,greeneyed and stunningly handsome.
I was instantly attracted,not just physical but more intellectual too.PS. we hooked up after dating for 3 months almost daily,inseparable.He was very different in personalitites to John(his cousin).James was shy,sensitive,poetic,deep in thought,abhored cooking,was also an artistt/writer/for a British fashion magazine.He was also not passionate like John,reserved in public affectitions,but very demonstrative at home.Life seemed pleasing,careerwise,caring for this sensitive,goodlooking fellow was easy.However,I'd have sensual dreams of John,being with him quite vividly,and wake
up crying.I guess that part of me still loved John..Darling,all I can say is if you
value this nice man presently,do not look back. Most relationships will never have
that luster,romance and coming from a different place,usually doubts in trust.There's some people who can rekindle an old flame,but it usually falls into pattern that broke them up inittially.treasure what your shared,but move forward with this new love potential,he sounds worth the investment.Given time will heal your heart and grow to love this new person presently.Best wishes,Bellina!