walking way from an engaged man
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walking way from an engaged man
| Fri, 08-20-2004 - 12:58am |
Help I'm going crazy. Recently I discovered heaven and hell together aotherwise known as love I fell in love with the wrong man a man that is engaged and on top of that my business partner it's a mess for me emotionally. It did not start with another person in the picture but gradually the truth came out.
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Hi
I can relate fully to what you are going through, as I am from what you have written, in the same situation as yourself, only in my case I'm married and the other person involved is single a close friend of my wife with a complicated private and business life. I have told her of my feelings towards her. She has now decided to stop all communication between us as she feels guilty that she may be the cause of my marrage breakdown. I tell you this because I did not set out intentionally to even get close to her, it just happened, I think of her 24/7 and could never do anything that would harm her.
Have you told him of your feelings or have you faced up to your emotions and are scared to reveal them to him for fear of rejection. I decided to tell her, for me unfortunately I have to face life without her, but for you it may be the best thing you ever do in your life. A lot of people get engaged but never actually get married. If the man you love feels the same way about you, he then has to make a decision, but be prepared for rejection, and then move on with your life, something now I am finding difficult to do without her. if this helps keep posting to get each other through it
Good luck
Pianoguy is curious....
How can you possibly hope to function as "business partners" after you've been "bed partners?" How many ivillagers reading this would actually want to continue working with a man who portrays himself as one thing, but is actually another? Kinda makes you wanna look at the ledger books, doesn't it?
My sympathy goes out to the fiancee...because if 'her intended' can easily cheat with you, there will probably be at least one more "bedroom merger" with somebody else!
Pianoguy
In the original message to dolcedonna, I expressed that i understand how easily you can emotionally fall in love. I did not read into her message that they were indulging in a rampant sex act daily. More like she worked along side her business partner became emotionally involved with him, admired his strength and weaknesses and is now torn between her own desires and needs, and is honest and open with her feelings to ask for other peoples help in similar situations.
This is what happened to me, I am not proud of myself, I worry for my wife and family of grown up children. You talk as if the other lady and I were lovers, in fact no sexual contact ever took place except the occassional hug.But I do accept the fact that I talked to this woman behind my wifes back, and accept the responsibilty for doing so, as does the other woman. believe me I did not go out looking for this and unless you truely experience these intense emotions you will never understand them. Yes I am definately considering divorce, but I have not told you all the circumstances of my problem, as I was replying to dolcedonna.
many thanks for your help
As for your question, I don't know if my friend stayed in his marriage. She was an alcoholic with an abusive personality. They moved out of state and we've never had contact since. That was over ten years ago. Looking back, I doubt if he was truly in love with me. I think I was a simply an oasis of calm in his stormy life. His homelife was so turbulent and miserable, I must have seemed like the perfect woman to him. I listened to his problems and provided comfort and support, something he hadn't had in a long time. The reality is that he never experienced any of my shortcomings, and I have them certainly even though they didn't approach the severity of his wife's.
I will say that I'm glad he didn't try to stay in contact with me. When we said goodbye, he told me he was going to make his best effort to make his marriage work with the stipulation that his wife get treeatment and counseling. Staying in contact with me would have been counterproductive to giving her his entire support and his one last stab at it.
While I have no idea what circumstances you face in your marriage, I do think that making a firm decision one way or another and giving 100% to following through on it, makes healing possible. My best to you.
dolcedonna2004
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