wanna wait...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2004
wanna wait...
2
Sun, 05-09-2004 - 7:22pm
the next time i sleep with someone, i want to be certain with every fiber of my being that they love me. i want to be sure of their intentions -that they're going to stick with me and work through tough times. i want the next time -the first time i'm with whoever it'll be, to be making love ...for it to be extra special and not just physical.

but, while i'm getting to know this next guy and holding off on getting intimate in a sexual manner ...what would i say to explain that i care about him, i'm attracted to him, i like kissing him ...and will sleep with him eventually...

...because if i say i want to be sure that they're in it for the long haul ...that i want to know that they love me ...that i want it to be making love -i figure that even if they don't really feel those things yet or never will -they could still act like they do because now they know what i want before i'm comfortable going to bed with them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 10:24am

You don't have to make a big production out of it... just say you're not interested in sex without a commitment.

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2004
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 5:52pm
thanks jajalel.

i wanted to be prepared with how to handle that situation and couldn't think of what to say -your words are perfect. thank you for reminding me that even though it's a big deal to me, it doesn't need to be made a big deal of. i'm definitely taking things slow next time ...i'm really intuitive and smart about people and friendships but somehow fail miserably with guys. needless to say, i just had my heart stomped on, but i'm okay. moving forward and thinking about how to handle things differently next time -you really helped me with your response and i truly appreciate it.