Wanting to date my friend
Find a Conversation
Wanting to date my friend
| Thu, 09-16-2004 - 6:41pm |
I've been friends with this girl for about 9 months now. I'm 34 and she's 25. We started seeing each other, but she wasn't interested in a relationship, just casual dating. She also said she saw me as a friend. She is also kind of a tomboy, with an interest in Martial Arts, Target Shooting, and has a pet snake. As time went on, my feelings for her grew. She is still casually seeing other guys, nothing serious. But, she also recently said how she would like to be in a loving, romantic relationship, although she says she doesn't believe in it because she has never been "in love" before. In our conversations, she said that she feels a connection to me and sees me as a friend, as someone who is "there." She doesn't see me as a guy to date, but she likes spending time with me. She also has convinced herself that I am "too old" for her. In reading between the lines, it seems like she is creating reasons to convince herself not to date me. When we sit together on the couch, she sits on the opposite end. When we hug, she leans in from the side. I know that I'm a good-looking guy as I get told that often by women, so it's not "sex appeal." She also says that she feels most like herself around me and can truly be herself around me. The thing is, I really like her and I think if she allowed our friendship to evolve to something more, it would be wonderful for both of us. I've tried various subtle things to lead down a romantic path, but she resisted. For example, she's studying to be a pilot, so I surprised her with a picnic by the airport to watch the planes take-off and land. She put up a defense saying how that's something I should do with the other girl I was dating at the time (and not dating anymore). My problem is that my feelings for her have grown strong and is now interfering with my ability to see other women without thinking about her. What can I do?

In other words, quit looking for a way *in*- she's not interested.
She knows how you feel about her, and I'm sure that if she changes her mind she knows where to find you.
Good luck
Alison
Save your Money and your Heart
Peace
Alison
Peace