wanting more....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
wanting more....
2
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 11:56am
i'm looking for some advice on how to tell my boyfriend i want to talk to him/see him more often. we have been together for 4 months, so in some respects it is still a new relationship, but it is pretty intense emotionally. i met him through some friends and they have told me his a great boyfriend and was so attentive to his last girlfriend. i am not a forward person and have trouble asking for what i want. i am really very content with the way things are going, however i wish we talked on the phone everyday. does this seem like too much? we e-mail occassionally throughout the week and i usually end up calling every other day if i don't hear from him. when i do this we stay on the phone for at least an hour or more until we are both ready to fall asleep. if i don't call he'll call within three days time, and i have been trying to hold off more and more and et him call me. sometimes i think he wants to talk to me everyday too but feel like he shouldn't call. but then sometimes i feel like he doesn't call so he doesn't want to talk to me. so i don't ever push the issue. i'd like to say something, but i don't want it to come across as "i think you should be calling me everyday." just, i wish we could talk more, or something.

any thoughts? are most people whoever been together for this short/long talking every day? or does it depend on the relationship?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: danisara
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 1:54pm
Good luck with that. He's shown you what his comfort level is regarding the amount of communication between you, and while you can *ask*, generally I've found that doesn't work. As Erin says, people do what they want to do.

To answer your question though, I don't think I've ever been in a relationship where we talked every day, unless we were living together/married. Every other day works for me.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
In reply to: danisara
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 3:43pm
I'm in a similar situation to you. I talk to my guy every day, but I want to see him more often. He sees his friends often, and will stop by my apt afterwards, but our time actually going out has dwindled as he's become more comfortable with me. I tried talking to him about it, but I dont' think he fully understood me. I recommend that if you want to talk to him about it, first of all...do it in person (not on the phone or over email). Second, preface with something like, "I really like you and value our time together..." and then bring it up in a non-confrontational way. Start small and see how he reacts. Good luck and let us know how it goes!