was he using me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2004
was he using me?
3
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 9:36am
hi everyone,
i am looking for advice on something. i met this guy about 3 weeks ago, i wasn't very intrested in him at all. he was great looking but a little too good looking. anyhow he wouldn't leave me alone the first night he saw me he tried to stay with me as long as possible. he asked me for my number and i took off with out leaving it. then a week or so went by and i saw him around again he kinda stayed his distance but was looking at me every chance he got. i did see him hugging this other women who is about 10 years older then me. it didn't think much of it. then when i saw him again he again would not leave me alone. he invited me to come by his friends place later for a few drinks, since i know a few of them i decided that it would be safe enough. so i dropped by. he was constantly trying to have private conversations with me and sort of interupted every other conversation i had with other males. we ended up hanging out the whole weekend after that and spending a lot of money most of it mine. he then said that he wanted to take me out the following weekend to make it up to me. i agreed and he asked me to start seeing him. then all of a sudden he didn't call.
on the weekend we spent together he skipped this other women's birthday party to be with me and told me that he was going through a divorce.. pending as in separated.
anyhow he never called about our friday date night and i had to track him down because he did owe me some money. he showed up at a friends house and was really mad, and he came with this other women. i was thinking ok fine he used me, this is a first for me that i know about. he ended up talking to a few people because he owed them money too. but he spend most of his time talking to me. then he left and he was really mad. but he would not admit that he used me and still told me that he liked me a lot.
then later he came back with out the other women and told me that he really liked me still, we had a long conversation and he said he would call me later that after noon, but i haven;t heard from him in 4 days and i have no idea how to get hold of him.
i am going crazy because i really ended up likeing him and i feel used and he swears it is not like that but he is not calling either.
my question is after that longwinded mess up there, If he was just using me for sex and money, then why would he go so far to lie about it instead of just saying yeah it was a one night stand don't bother me again? he came after me like no one else ever has i am so confused
please help...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 10:45am

Ok, sounds like he seduced you, took your money then ran off.

It happens to the best of us...Just chalk it off as a learning experience. Don't speak to him again, he sounds like poison.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2004
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 8:57am
after i posted my question. he gave me a call. i was really surprised. but my guard is up now which is where it should have been before. i am going to try and watch him for awhile but iam not giving him a single cent that is for sure. but i think you are right about the poison.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 10:09am
Some unreputable men enjoy chasing women and also have a problem with lying. He's not a good man. Chalk it up to lesson learned and move on.