Was it a step forward, or back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2006
Was it a step forward, or back?
2
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 10:18pm

So, i've liked this guy for a really long time. sort of a crush from afar, then i finally got an opportunity to know him and then really get to know him where we hung out a lot. i never paid attention to his relationships, i never thought i had a chance with him so i never bothered. things got more heated this last year, and it came to the point where he'd even flirt with me in front of his gf, and i never could figure out why this was.

he broke up with her fairly recently, and while i noted it i didn't exactly see it as my chance to act, even though the flirting between us continued. he eventually told me that they'd been kind of together but never in love, and never close for a while (which was why he had no problem flirting in front of her). now that their friendship was no longer at stake, they finally broke up.

one night we ended up making out. it was awkward and i've had better kisses, but the fact that it was him, and he told me he knew i liked him, and he thought i was so cute when her first saw me, was great. before we went to (separate) beds we agreed not to make things awkward. we had to see each other the next couple of days, and he did sort of speak to me since then (he posted on my facebook wall). beyond that, we haven't really spoken even though when we parted he said we'd talk.

now i do feel awkward. i don't know what i should expect out of this or anything. i'm finally going back to where we both usually live soon, so i'll probably see him. it feels like our being together it was a long time coming, and now that it finally has things have become complicated. I don't know what to do or expect. i don't want to be a pessimmist or get my hopes too high. any thoughts?

"Cause getting your dreams, it's strange, but it seems a little --well-- complicated."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 10:27pm

theelusivehooves...

First...Pianoguy thinks your ivillage user name is VERY INTERESTING! There HAS to be a story behind it?

With relationships...some are simple and some are complicated! There are certainly men and women who can take a feeling and twist it to the point of making it more complicated than it has to be!

What you might want to ask yourself is how much am I willing to 'compromise?' You indicated that his behavior was somewhat awkward after the make-out session and that his kisses 'didn't exactly sweep you off your feet?' So perhaps you need some "alone time" to rationalize whether pursuing him any further is worth your time?

Sometimes a gift wrapped in beautiful paper isn't as wonderful once the paper has been torn away!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 11:09am
It doesn't sound as though you guys have spoken about this enough. Before you make out with him again, you should find out where things stand with him. Did he flirt with you because he had a crush on you as well, or was it just fun and games? Did he make out with you because he wants a relationship, or was it just for the sex? You have a right to know these things before you let things go any further. Until a guy has made it clear that he feels otherwise, you shouldn't assume that just becaue he's made out with you it means anything. Good luck.