We FINALLY went on our first date!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2013
We FINALLY went on our first date!
Sun, 09-29-2013 - 2:05pm

There is a cute single guy I been chatting with since May. We never have the same days off and have finanical issues, we never could meet. He lives 2 hrs away.

We chat, talk and oovoo (like skype) consently. We were suppose to meet but I had my car accident. After our last oovoo session, we agreed to meet in a city thats between our 2 cities. We went out to dinner and chatted for 5 hrs about everything (family, ex's, having kids in the future, etc.). We share the same ideals about the future. On many of my dates the guys say they dont ever want kids or hate children, which seem pointless to continue seeing them. I also never had a guy talk to me as long as he did. After the date we kissed and continued talking about our siblings. 

The cute guy wants to come over my house or I come over to his house for pizza and movies. I dont want to come to his house too frat like. There is a strong sexual attraction.  My work buddies say I should let him come over and just have fun.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 09-29-2013 - 6:44pm

Considering that there is this attraction, consider what you plan to do beforehand and then decide if you will ask him to come to your house.  First of all, there is still a safety thing--you don't really know this guy very well.  Do you think that if you said you'd kiss him or do other things but not have sex, do you think he would respect your wishes?  I probably wouldn't feel comfortable having someone come to my house on only the 2nd date unless it was someone I had gotten to know personally before we started dating, like through work or school, where you could get to know his character.  Remember people can say anything that they think you want to hear.

Secondly, how do you feel about sex?  Some people can have casual sex and not care that much about it.  For others, they need for it to be more meaningful.  I see women on IV very often complaining about how they slept with a guy too soon, then they get all worried that he will never call again or feel like after that, the relationship doesn't develop and all the guy wants to do is come to your place to watch movies and have sex--he won't have to make an effort any more to take you out places.

With all that said, I hope it continues to go well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Tue, 10-01-2013 - 12:53pm

Don't invite him to your home.Like someone else had mentioned...this was your 1st date...you don't know his character yet.Take it slow.Why not make another date to do something fun...maybe that lasts half the day and then before it gets dark...he's gone back to his place..and you've gone back to yours? Take it slow.Good luck! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2007
Tue, 10-01-2013 - 5:11pm

Coming over to watch a movie is code for 'come over and watch a movie and have sex' in some people's minds.  Not that it is right, but that is the way SOME guys think.  It's a mating ritual, kind of.  

If you are unsure how you feel about that, suggest a public place date.  He may not be thinking in that direction, you never know.

To quote somebody--Women look for a reason to have sex.  Men look for a place.