Weird behavior of guys....
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 08-19-2004 - 6:01pm |
Now to my question about his behavior. I invited him to come along to the club with me and my friends and he said he didn't like to do 'that kind of stuff' and pretty much flat out said 'I don't want to go.' I said okay fine. Nothing wrong with that. I understand some guys really don't like to dance/go to clubs. So I go with my friends and we are all having a good time, all of a sudden I look down to the dance floor and there he is! WITH ANOTHER GIRL. I don't understand this. He said he didn't want to go but shows up with his cousins and a girl. He was the only one with a girl. Okay, so we aren't in a serious relationship and I don't have the gf title but do I have a right to get mad? It's the fact that he intentionally brought someone else while knowing I was there and after telling me he didn't like clubs. I don't get it.
I've always felt that something wasn't 'right' with our relationship. And I regret not talking to him about it but the right time just hasn't come along.
I guess what I'm asking is for some insight and or advice.
Thanks.

I completely agree with Charite's advice to you (I always agree with her advice.. she is a very wise woman).
Start
But I also want to note: sometimes one person is more persuasive than another at getting someone out of the house. So he said no to you, but his buddies probably razzed him until he agreed to go out. As far as the other girl, whether she was there or not, his friends are the ones who likely changed his mind about going out.
On the other hand, if the guy wasn't into you anymore, he could have just said so.
Is it possible that the girl was already there and hit on him, danced with him and hung around? Is it possible that the girl is a friend of the cousins and was there for the fun? Is it possible that the girl is a relative as well?
OK, he lied and you can deal with that specific issue in a way you deem appropriate for yourself. I have no issue with that at all. However, he had no obligation to you in terms of a date if you never discussed and agreed to exclusivity. Until two people agree to exclusivity you are free to date whomever you wish.
I'm glad that people agree with me that I have a right to be mad. Even though we are not 'exclusive' does not mean he has a right to disrespect me like that. If you are dating other people, fine...just tell me. Don't flaunt your girls in front of me. I have dated other people too, but I would never show up with another guy holding hands in front of him! I feel as if that is disrespectful. Another reason why my feelings are hurt is because this is the second time i've seen him with another girl. The first time, he had called me to ask if I was going to the same social gathering as him and I said I was and that I would see him there. Throughout the night, I thought I wasn't going to make it, and told one of the guys there and I guess word got around that I wasn't coming. Well, when I did show up, he was getting all touchy feely with another girl there!
Like I said, I don't mind the fact that he is dating other people, but at least respect me enough to not flaunt all your pretty girls in front of me like this. It makes me feel like I am just another one of your pretty girls you are juggling. And the fact that she was extremely gorgeous, makes me feel like an ugly duckling compared to her.
I was totally with you until your last message, when you revealed that your disappointment stems from a sense that what happened was somehow related to this other woman being so "gorgeous." I understand that you were hurt, but that makes it sound like you wouldn't have been so concerned if he was at the club with someone less attractive, and that's not the attitude you need.
Start