For whatever it is worth, I think you are on the right track. Lunch for awhile and if you both get more comfortable maybe a drink after work, something casual. Hard to deal with shy guys sometimes, especially if you are shy too (I'm very shy with men I am interested in, but outgoing and flirty with other men - go figure).
To emphasize what has already posted, I think the work issue is the stickiest point. You don't want your boss to keep seeing you two laughing and joking all the time, make sure he sees the work you have accomplished - I would hate to see you get into trouble for not getting work done (not that you said that has happened).
As for the age difference and race differences, that depends entirely on the two of you. I have dated older men and for me i have found that I can handle the differences to a point, the man 18 years older than me just didn't work out b/c we are in way different places in our lives, but a 10 year difference worked ok in the past. Can't comment from personal experience on interracial dating, but I would definitely date a man of a different race if we were both interested in each other.
Anything is possible and until the topic is opened up, you'll never really know why he's not asking you out outside of lunch/work. It may be he's cautious, I know I would be getting involved with a co-worker/colleague. It may also be that he doesn't know if you'd ever date outside your race. Do you think he is interested? If so, have patience. If he does, it will happen.
Personally though I would hang back, enjoy the time you're spending together now and see where everything goes. There's no need to rush this, especially when the fact that you work together adds something to the mix.
Consider the amount of progress that "your shy b/f" appears to be making?
As Kerry indicated, there might be an issue of interdenominational dating too? It's a subject you can bring up AFTER the holidays...if you feel you need to?
But for now...enjoy the special feelings, companionship and joys of the season when 2 people in LOVE can enjoy it...together!
Pianoguy---who sincerely wishes he had a "female shopping buddy" to guide him through the local malls and shopping centers!
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Edited 1/9/2007 11:56 am ET by slimkim4
For whatever it is worth, I think you are on the right track. Lunch for awhile and if you both get more comfortable maybe a drink after work, something casual. Hard to deal with shy guys sometimes, especially if you are shy too (I'm very shy with men I am interested in, but outgoing and flirty with other men - go figure).
To emphasize what has already posted, I think the work issue is the stickiest point. You don't want your boss to keep seeing you two laughing and joking all the time, make sure he sees the work you have accomplished - I would hate to see you get into trouble for not getting work done (not that you said that has happened).
As for the age difference and race differences, that depends entirely on the two of you. I have dated older men and for me i have found that I can handle the differences to a point, the man 18 years older than me just didn't work out b/c we are in way different places in our lives, but a 10 year difference worked ok in the past. Can't comment from personal experience on interracial dating, but I would definitely date a man of a different race if we were both interested in each other.
I'm sure it's legitimate but dating in the same office can be messy - especially if there's a break up.
Edited 1/9/2007 12:00 pm ET by slimkim4
Anything is possible and until the topic is opened up, you'll never really know why he's not asking you out outside of lunch/work. It may be he's cautious, I know I would be getting involved with a co-worker/colleague. It may also be that he doesn't know if you'd ever date outside your race. Do you think he is interested? If so, have patience. If he does, it will happen.
Personally though I would hang back, enjoy the time you're spending together now and see where everything goes. There's no need to rush this, especially when the fact that you work together adds something to the mix.
Keep us posted though!
PG agrees with Kerry!
"Hang back" and see what happens!
Consider the amount of progress that "your shy b/f" appears to be making?
As Kerry indicated, there might be an issue of interdenominational dating too? It's a subject you can bring up AFTER the holidays...if you feel you need to?
But for now...enjoy the special feelings, companionship and joys of the season when 2 people in LOVE can enjoy it...together!
Pianoguy---who sincerely wishes he had a "female shopping buddy" to guide him through the local malls and shopping centers!
Pages