Went back to ex-girlfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Went back to ex-girlfriend
3
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 3:00pm
I met this guy, we hung out twice and kissed twice. I was starting to consider him as a possibility. On our first date, he told me about breaking up with his girlfriend about a week ago, because she cheated on him with a friend. He wasn't upset because he saw it coming. When he told me that, I said, let's see how that plays out, because you might go back to her. After our second date on a Sunday, he said we'll hang out again in the middle of the week. He didn't call so I called him on friday and left a message. He called me the following sunday, when I picked up I told him i didn't expect to hear from he. I said I assumed you went back to you GF. He said that's actually why he's calling because he did go back to her and he wanted to let me know. Then he adds that he wants to keep in touch cause i'm a really nice person and he wants to be friends. I told him don't try to keep me in the wings. He asked if i was mad, i told him i wasn't, i expected this to happen. I thanked him for the call and we hung up. Today, I get a voicemail from him saying he's just checking in, give him a call when i get the message. Should I call?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 3:17pm
I wouldn't.

Do I understand you correctly? You were supposed to hang out in the middle of the week, but he never called, so you called him Friday. When you say he called you the FOLLOWING Sunday, do you mean a WEEK and TWO DAYS later???? Or do you mean the following Sunday as in two days later?

Anyway, yeah, I wouldn't call him. He's trying to "keep you in the wings" in case things don't work out with the girlfriend. You don't need that crap.

Think of it as taking the high road - you're not ignoring his call because you're "angry" with him. You're doing it because you know the situation is going nowhere, therefore, "why should I" call him back.

If and when you do talk to him again and he asks why you didn't call him, just nonchalantly say, "Oh, that...yeah, sorry - haven't had a chance...." and trail off, don't give any details.

That's what I would do, anyway. Good luck!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 4:32pm
He called again and this time he got me. He invited me out to dinner with him this Sunday. Should I go? Why would he tell me he went back to his ex-girlfriend and then put all this time into us hanging out, more than before?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 4:56pm
Rockicon this is a no brainer.....he wants to have sex with you. As soon as he does...he is gone. The "I am going back to my ex" is a great excuse..whether it is true or not. He is keeping you hanging. Do NOT go out with this guy. You need to set standards for yourself. A guy should be crazy about you and pursue you with great ferver. YOUR guy is out there. Don't waste your time on these losers!

I hope you find the quality lady in yourself and not settle to be treated anything less than what that lady deserves to be treated!!!

Good Luck

Jodie

 

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