Went to dinner Wendsday

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Went to dinner Wendsday
2
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 8:17am
I wrote below about my boyfriend of 8 months breaking up with me on Saturday, then calling me Monday to come over for dinner Wendsday. Well, I went for dinner last night. Dinner was scheduled for "6-ish" and I had RSVP'd saying I'd be there around 6. He called me at 5:59 to ask if I was still coming.

He had told his 18 year old stepdaughter that he broke up with me because he wasn't happy anymore, but wouldn't elaborate. He hadn't told his two younger children (9 and 10) yet. He said he was going to tell them, but he hadn't had the chance since they didn't get home until late Sunday and the other nights were busy.

For the most part, he acted very normal, we talked about the girls, work, school, and other personal matters just like we would have otherwise. But there was no physical contact, no even casual. He made a comment about the situation being hard, and it would get easier with time, and said 'it must be even worse for you'. Meaning its hard for him?? I just said "Yeah, remember this was your idea".

He was talking about still having me come over and stuff, and I said that if he had a new girlfriend hanging around to at least warn me, because I didn't need to walk in to that. He kind of indicated that that wasn't going to be an issue, but at no point gave any hint or indication that he was even considering us getting back together.

As I was leaving, he thanked me for coming over for dinner. I asked him, just out of curiosity, why did he invite me for dinner. He said it was "to break the ice on things, because I made him leave so abruptly the other night". When he broke up with me, he wanted to keep talking about being friends, and stuff and I started to cry, so I told him he had to leave.

Any clues? This situation is really confusing me.

Avatar for bratgirl2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 9:10am
What is confusing? He wants to be friends. Where, in that scenario, at least with the information you have posted, is there even a glimmer of "mixed signal"??
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 10:22am
My assessment of the situation still stands: he wants to feel good about himself and you are helping him to do that.

Keeping in contact is a no win for you. There is only pain, misery and confusion down that path. Cut things off now and give yourself time to heal. If you want to re-establish a friendship once you're completely over him, then do so then, but not now.

Sheri