What is this????
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What is this????
| Mon, 04-24-2006 - 3:59pm |
For the past few months I have been going out with this guy on the weekends. We go everywhere from the movies, dinner to comedy clubs. We get along well, and have decent conversations. My problem is that I can't read him. I mean he has never made a move or said anything. Something tells me that he wants to, but I'm not sure. He really doesn't open up and talk about himself at all. I was able to pull it out of him that he does not have a girlfriend. Even though we have been out quite a few times, I still don't know much about him. I just assume that we are friends. Keep in mind that there is no sex or physical contact of any kind. I think he just wants a friend. I have no problem being a friend, as long as I know the situation. I'm a little confused. When I tried to talk to him about this he clams up. Any ideas on this????

putitin69...
Do you have a problem with a man 'who just wants to enjoy your company and friendship?' Sure sounds like it.....at least to Pianoguy?
Most men will "open up" when and IF they're ready!
If you need specific answers, go ahead and ask the questions! But if you're enjoying the "stress-free ride" and the companionship....why mess up a good thing?
Pianoguy
<< For the past few months I have been going out with this guy on the weekends. We go everywhere from the movies, dinner to comedy clubs. >>
When you go out, does he offer to pay? If so, then ... that's a date ... albeit, a date without any romance, but ... it's a date. He's treating you. If you're going dutch, he's just being a friend.
If you don't mind just being friends and enjoying his companionship, then ... continue being his friend and eventually, as he feels more comfortable with you, he'll open up. Has he talked about past relationships or anything?
Is he paying? Are you going dutch? Does he comment about how you look, ask about your dating, etc, your romantic goals, etc. Are you sure he's straight? Have you said you do like him and are open to seeing where it might lead if it is romantic but if it's just friendship you're ok with that too? Is that how you feel? You don't necessraily want him to monopolize your time either if there's no chance this will develop into anything and you are starting to develop feelings for him. Are you? I know you said you've no problem being friends.
The way I would handle it would be to remain 'just friends'.
I need someone who is open about who he is and how he feels.
Let's see after 30 years of trying to get my husband to tell me something, anything... even his favorite color - I would say some people just don't share their thoughts and feelings. Didn't work for me, never had a clue where I stood and one-sided conversations get tiring after a while. This is the one thing that will make me run faster than lightening in a relationship now. If he can open up a little then it is enough for me to stick around and see if we have anything else. If he can't there is no way I can have a one-sided friendship... a pet rock is more company.
Other than moving on, you could ask him directly, "Do you want to be just friends or think that maybe in the future there may be more? If you don't understand, tell him you don't understand what it means. Maybe he doesn't know how he feels or what he wants, but if you could get that from him at least it is something.
Cheryl
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