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| Thu, 12-16-2004 - 9:42am |
Here goes...
I haven't actually dated in a while since I just recently became divorced. I have been on dates and have not really met anyone I wanted to have a long term relationship with, therefore I am somewhat rust at all of this.
I met this guy two weeks ago at the club me and my friends frequent. He told me he had asked about me before so I knew he had been watching me therefore he was interested. We have been talking and texting EVERYDAY since that nite. Here is the problem, he has not been very aggressive about wanting to see me. I know he likes me and is interested in me. My question is, what can I do to encourage him to want to see me? He just recently moved down here and is in the process of getting a job and he advised me he wanted to go to school and get a technical certificate. He did tell me that with it being the holidays and not having a job (he does have money saved) that he has had a lot on his mind. Anyway, any advise on how to handle this. I know all the books say play hard to get blah blah blah, I HATE game playing. I tend to be very aggressive myself and have been trying to tone it down so as not to scare him away. Is two weeks too soon to be getting this uptight about things? I do tend to be a little high strung. UGH!!!!! Dating is more difficult now a days :)

you will know...
What's wrong with setting up a LUNCH DATE with this gentleman prior or just after Christmas? Being the 'new kid in town' (quoting the Eagles here), Pianoguy is willing to bet the man would love to have a sandwich and chat with an interested lady like yourself.
Be sure you're in a public place...nothing 'cozy' or something that will give this man the impression that you want to seduce him!
Get to know the gentleman...and let him get to know you. From that point...who knows what will happen next? GOOD LUCK!
Pianoguy
Thanks pianoguy.
The thing is he just moved here but he was visiting here every other weekend or so to hang out with friends. He just decided to move. He has since been back home twice this last time he has been there since Sunday. We were suppose to go out to dinner when he came back on Monday but he decided to stay a little longer. I don't want to push the issue with him. He has tried to see me three times now and something always seems to come up. Yesturday I asked him in a joking way if he was ever coming home and he said yes probably Thursday (today) then I jokingly asked him if I was gonna get to see him any when he did come home. He turned around and jokingly said if I was good I probably would get too. I don't know what the deal is. I feel that I should not even mention it again. I just don't want him to get the impression that I am not interested. UGH!!!!
you will know....
Pianoguy thinks that this gentleman DEFINITELY KNOWS YOU'RE INTERESTED! But that he might be 'verbally teasing' you.
Since he has broken off 3 'close encounters with you' and didn't follow through with the dinner invitation....the next time he calls and asks you to meet him somewhere...(and I assume that he will)....ask him this question:
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE GOING TO BE AT THE RESTAURANT WHEN I GET THERE?
If he follows through...and says YES...give him the benefit of the doubt. If he lets you down again...toss this fish back in the pond!
I'm sure you find someone better!
Best wishes and warm thoughts,
Pianoguy
Hon, he likes your appearance and your attention...please don't misconstrue that to mean "I like, admire, and respect you as a person based on your character and vlaues and accomplishments in life."
You two are texting and emailing and talking trying to "date" sans contact. Won't work. All that is going to happen si that when you finally do meet - one or both of you are going to "assume" that you know the other person very well basd on conversation without interaction. And you're going to proceed with that assumption...to your detriment.
The man is being honest...he's unemployed, in the process of relocation, and he has alot on his mind. HE's not a good "relationship candidate" - he's in a transitional phase that has him seeking diversion, distraction, and comfort - not reviewing people from a position of self-awareness and objectivity.
Stop thinking of every man as potentially Mr. Right. Most men tend to think fo women as "possibly Miss Right for now, maybe". If what you want is just to date - as in you're not expecting this to develop into a relationship - make it plain that you don't mind dutch, that casual sex doesn't present you with emotional conflict and you'd love to be his diversion and distraction from his worries and thoughts whenever h wants that.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
Bellina sends greetings! I'd take this a bit slow until you get to know what type relationship you both would like.Especially since he's just getting settled and pursuing a new career.Perhaps if he agrees finally to meet,have dinner be casual and go dutch.Until
you know if you're on the same wavelength,there's no obligattions,strings.Unless you both are mutually attracted,have common interests,hobbies and desire a more potential for romance,then I'd let him pay for the next lunch/dinner.If he's very aloof and doesn't seem interested,play just as cool.See if once settled,he gives you thought for a future invite to lunch,dinner,movies,etc..I've found if a fellow is truly interested,he'll ring you,not thru emails/texts which aren't always retrieved in a timely manner.The oldfashioned tele works lots better..Best wishes..otherwise your worthy of another fellow who'll capture your heart and mind.