What am I missing???
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| Sun, 08-15-2004 - 11:49am |
So I decided to try speed dating. In some ways it's worked out great. I've done it maybe 4 or 5 times now over the past year. Each time I've matched with at least one person and wound up on a few dates. But the problem is.....after about 2 or 3 dates....they all seem to decide that they don't feel the romantic sparks with me.
I'm not sure what to make of this.....I know for a fact that I have a fair amount of common sense when it comes to dating. So I don't think I'm doing anything "wrong" so to speak. I've even read a few books on how to be romantic or succeed at the dating game. One women flat out told me that I was a perfect gentlemen and did everything I was supposed to do. Another one just told me that I am one of the nicest, easy to be around, most intelligent guys she's ever met. So what more do they want????
It just doesn't add up. This most recent one hurts a bit more than usual because I really wanted her to be the one. It was only 2 dates, but she was gorgeous and I felt so comfortable with her. She gave me a ton of complements but still pulled the rug out from under me.
I guess this is where I'm starting to realize it may never change. If I can go out with a beautiful women, show her a great time, do everything "right", and STILL wind up with nothing.....then what more can I do??

For a moment there I thought my older brother was writing this but he's older than 30 ;) Anyhow, he has had the same problem you currently have. There is nothing wrong that you are doing, you are probably being great but that might be the problem. I firmly believe that maybe you are not enough of a challenge to women. It is awful but if you don't make it a little difficult for women to get to you, they are usually turned off. My brother used to bend backwards for women and called them all the time. Finally the last one he saw (the one before his current long term girlfriend) told him that he called too much and just plain seemed too eager to be with her and it turned her off. He was angry and hurt at the time but she did him a favor with what she said... Even though he thought being what he's not was just playing games, his attitude changed with his next date. He told her he would call her and didn't right away and when they were together on dates, he didn't go out of his way to please her. He was still sweet to her but not all cotton candy. They are still together today and that as 1-1/2 years ago. Read some of the posts on these boards, from women who are in love with men who I feel don't deserve them but there you have it. I'm not condoning mistreating a woman but maybe be a little less eager. Best to you.
Well don't go out and do a 180... maybe a 90?? If you're looking for a beautiful woman (nothing wrong with that) remember that they especially are always treated very good, having men cater to them all of the time.... be that different guy who treats her as if she weren't a goddess and you might get the results you want... you will be that guy that is different! Lucy
There's no accounting for chemistry/spark. You either have it with someone or you don't. Being less available or acting like less of a gentleman wouldn't change the fact that these women didn't feel it with you. You just need to keep dating until you find someone who does feel it.
The fact that this has happened with only four or five women...that's a drop in the bucket! If you'd dating 50 women and this kept happening, that would be a different story, but I think you just need to keep getting out there.
Sheri