what am I missing here?
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what am I missing here?
| Wed, 08-18-2004 - 10:26am |
if a guy that broke up with you tells you that he likes and wants to be friends. He also tells you that he's phisically attracted, but his heart is not there. What was missing for a relationship for him to break up??

Think of a person as having 2 critical parts - the person and the agenda. You as a person could be perfect but if your agendas in life do not match, then what basis is there to continue? We see that here on ivillage message boards all the time, especially around the topic of "when is he going to propose" or "where is this relationship heading".
What I see happen a lot is that a woman will focus on the man as the person and virtually ignore what he says as to his agenda. Many believe that she can mold and shape him and his agenda into what she wants. That approach doesn't work. Listen and learn about both the person and the agenda. If there is not a solid match with both - then something is missing.
And I don't know if some or many men are the same way but for me, there's chemistry and then there's CHEMISTRY, ya know? I can be attracted to someone but not feel that extra zing and connection. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the guy, it's just that he's not right for me.
Sheri