What are the signs?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
What are the signs?
2
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 7:24pm

Been seeing a few posts (here and elsewhere) about letting someone know you're interested... So:



  • As a woman, how do you let a guy know you are interested without blurting it out? Think both in the first meet situation as well as letting him know you're interested in long term potential..

  • And for the guys, the same questions...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 9:36pm

With someone we have just met, I think it is easier when it feels mutual and open. This is pulled off best when there are no mind games being played. There is flirting, lots of eyecontact, there is lots of talk, and when they ask whether we'd be interested in going for dinner, for eg, we say "sounds good!" :-) rather than "i am sorry, i am busy". I think people pick up "clues" from each other, and that determines their next step. It can all happen pretty fast. So it makes sense to just be yourself. Be authentic.

As an example, looking back, I remember there was this guy who I bumbed into while doing some employment paperwork at school. He took the initiative and got us talking. I didn't hide my interest because he was pretty charming. Then when we got out of the office, (he probably sensed i wanted to know him more and perhaps he wanted to know me more as well so he waited for me) still chatting and came to where we'd go our own ways. we stopped. I said "well, okay then.." and he said "Okay.." but no one moved. It's funny :-) i hesitated, he hesitated and then he suddenly asks "if you are not doing anything important now, wanna go for a game of ping-pong?" If i had said "see ya later" and turned myself away from him, despite feeling the opposite, it wouldn't have helped. It would have delayed things a lot more. Because we did not exchange any phonenumbers etc. we'd have basically left it to destiny to get us together again.

So be yourself, and if you are interested, show it. And it doesn't have to be loud and overt. The eyes, the smile, the eagerness to know about the person, and not wanting to leave, shows. And the other person should pick up on it. If they dont, then a girl can always make it more clear by casually asking to meet up later. or exchanging numbers.

It just gets easier, when the interest is mutual though.

About more long term interest, I think the right couple moves naturally on that course, and it just "feels right" to think and talk about a future together. But perhaps, this is an idealistic picture. Still, the best way to determine whether both are on the same page, is to have a direct talk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 10:29pm
As far as meeting someone new - I will try to be friendly and try not to let the conversation die down. I will try to show interest in what he is saying. Iri