What are some pre relationship questions

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
What are some pre relationship questions
1
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 8:58pm
Well Have been dating but settling on guys that was safe so i was not emotionally attached. That has been going on for a few years. In the last year i have been trying to find someone that is not after only one thing. That is right sex. So it brings me to the current situation.

I have been talking to someone on (on-line) for a month and meet him so far for 3 weekends. The kids have not meet him but he knows that they are there and on the same note i know that he has kids also. We both don't want to have any more kids but a larger family is not out of the question. The problem is that i can't stop thinking about him. I feel like i am in high school again. I am not thinking about how he looks but how he makes me feel about myself, things around me and him. Being around him i feel safe but scared and starting to raise a few questions. Not push anything just letting things happen when they do. BUt how do you ask a guy on what he feels about the relationship, himself, and his life. I really don't want to make him feel unconfrontable but i would like to know for myself to see where i stand.

Maybe i am playing it to safe but not to srue but really don't want to lose him either. Not really sure on what to do next.

HydsterAug

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 7:22am
See him consistently - about once a week over the next 4 months and at that time you will know where you stand or you can have that conversation. Do not do sleepovers at your houses or spend more than "hello"

time with the kids until you both decide that this is leading towards engagement.

I have never dated a man more than a month who was only after sex - and that was only one person - the rest I stopped dating after two or three dates (never had sex with them) - I've been dating for 22 years - you might want to reevaluate the type of men you go for and what your focus is - this man sounds great so far but you know very little of him - the online contact really is irrelevant - spend the time, and see how he is over time. In all of my serious relationships the man asked for exclusivity within the first one-two months and they all were solid, wonderful men albeit not right for me.

Take it slow and steady and all you need to know for now are that his general goals are a serious relationship - asking specifically about the two of you is way too premature at this point.