what are we?
Find a Conversation
what are we?
| Sun, 11-14-2004 - 10:05pm |
I have been "dating" a guy I am crazy about since July--it's now almost December. Friends say he likes me, and I know he does too, but he rarely returns my calls, sometimes responds to my emails, and the only time we ever hang out is on the weekends, usually when I'm doing the asking. He says work is crazy during the week, and he IS a busy guy, but I do feel neglected. I know he had a long term GF who screwed him over, so maybe he's just scared, but I just feel more alone NOW than when I wasn't dating anybody atall! Anyway any advice as to what I should do would be so helpful. Thanks!

i dont mean to be so blunt but it doesnt seem like hes that interested
I think this sounds like a guy who likes to have you there when he pleases, but he want also , and you let him, run the show. Now ,after six months , it is about time for you to take control. What I mean by "time for you to take control" is simply to be unavaliable for a while. Stop asking him out, stop answering his sms, stop answering the phone -->let him feel insecure.Make him hunt for you, cause he will if you mean anything to him.
So, you will either loose him or have more of what you want. But anyhow , you dont want anymore of how it is now. Therefore this is a matter of win win situation for you. If he disappears without efforting to make contact with you, then this was not anyone who would love you in the end.
Good luck to you, and remember: There are good guys out there who will threat you respectfully. It is better to be alone, then lonely with someone
Wow, your "boyfriend" sounds so much like my ex, I would swear he was. He too didn't have much time to see me and we only saw each other ONCE A WEEK, usually on a Saturday night. Then I wouldn't hear from him again until Tuesday or Wednesday, when he'd call to see what I wanted to do the next Saturday night. This was even after 7 MONTHS of dating. I once asked him if we could see each other on a Friday as well ONCE IN A WHILE and his response was that I would try to take him away from his friends and activities that he enjoyed! Just because I asked to see him one more day a week once in a while?? I would say that on his list of priorities I ranked at the bottom.
It sounds as though you are in the same situation and I understand your feeling of being alone even though you are supposedly in a relationship. Relationships take two people who are both committed to being in the relationship. What it sounds like is a one-sided relationship and he is not part of it. When a guy acts like that, he just isn't into you and there is a book out that explains in detail what men are doing when they treat you like you are second class. You should be his priority...nobody is so busy that they can't make time to call and ask how your day was and how you are doing. It's very possible that he is seeing another woman or other women and he's just putting you on the ack burner. Whatever, he clearly isn't invested in this "relationship". I found out my ex had been seeing someone else and didn't have the decency to tell me. He thought it was better to just string me along, just in case they didn't work out, but I wasn't going to play that game and I walked. I would do the same if I were you and find somebody who does want to be with you. Do you really want someone who clearly doesn't want you? I hope not!
Bellina here,cheers! I truly feel for you in your romantic dilemma.Currently my
story is quite similar to yours.P. and I've known one another over the past year.First
as casual friends,during my parents terminal illness,resulted in losing their lives
to cancer.P.knew them as he was maitredi in our favorite eatery.Anyway,after exchanging
phone#'s,we'd began a very comfortable friendship,chatted hours,had mutualinterests,
hobbies,backgrounds,values,closefamily ties,etc..Due to his new job in a trendy
hotel restaurant P. long day,ends 11pm,one day off,our get togethers diminished
quite significantly.Instead exchange our romantic banter,daily happenings,etc via
cells..We've not yet expressed luv yous,but feelings are definitely more than good
friends.He's also a charitable fellow,does football coaching and donates time
to underprivelged.I'd only wish his schedule was shorter,but can't muster couragee
to ask him if he's feeling true love,not just casual friendship.Now he's going
home(where his mum and siblings are,for Thanksgiving),my family,sis,brother,neice are
spending w/me. I asked him to come for desserts,but was too late,as his sister had
already invited him last week.After I asked him,he said disappointed sorry you didn't
tell me this sooner.I'm just not assertive enough.All I can say is if he really
cares Coleen,lessen your ringing him on the tele.See if he misses you after
not being so sure of your calls.In turn I'll bet he'll phone you in getting
together,if he values someone like you.Best wishes in this quest to keep romance
alive! Bellina,Happy Holiday!