What is the boundaries of "just friend?"
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| Wed, 08-18-2004 - 6:43pm |
I am so confused b/c he calls me last week and tells me that he is ready to settle down in his life but isn't ready to commit yet, he also said that he does not want to have sex for a while either. Well last weekend he called me on Saturday night and wanted to see me really bad. I met up with him and some friends and he was acting like such a a boyfriend, getting jealous, wanting to be close to me, ect... Last night he came over and I had a little too much to drink and he took care of me. He fed me, made sure that I had lights on at my house when everyone left, he was very concerned about me. Usually he goes to a friends house on Tuesdays to watch TV but he made them come over to my house!
I know I have pretty much been babbling on and on and I don't feel like I even have explained our relationship (if that's what you call it) to the fullest detail possible however I just needed to get some of these things off of nmy chest. One thing I want to ask for advise on, is do you think that if you sleep with soemone prior to commitment ruins the chance of ever having anything serious?
There are so many things I heed advise on so anything that anyone can give me from what I have said would be appreciated.
Thanks, Kim!

Read that back to yourself again and tell me what you see?
I see: I really like you, but you're only good enough to hook up with, I'm still waiting for something better to come along, but you will do for now to satisfy my urges.
If a guy really likes you, he will want to be with you. If he's saying that he can't date you, FOR WHATEVER REASON, then believe him. He is only playing around with you because he's waiting for someone *better* and you're willing to go along with it.
Forget him, tell him to get lost, and find a guy who sees you for all you are and only wants YOU. You don't want to become more attached and be there when he does find his something better.
Tell him to hit the road you want someone who wants you and only you and can commit.
Wish him lucky finding the one he is waiting for. The problem is not you it is with this jerk. He likely will never find what he wants and will go from girl to girl until he finds out it is too late.
You will feel so much better having control over your feelings rather than someone else giving you the old roller coaster ride.
I know it is hard but work on your self esteem and self confidence and you will be surprised how strong you will be and ready to let someone in your life who will treat you like gold.
Sleeping with someone whom you are in an exclusive relationship is fine but at this point since he only wants to be friends the sleeping with him is definately not a good idea.
i'm curious to know the responses that you rec'd from your question. i'm in a similiar relationship now w/a friend who i've slept w/a handful of times. he tells me that he's not ready for a relationship but gets jealous when other men approach me.
so if you can provide any feedback as to what others thought, it would be greatly appreciated.