what can I do to get him back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
what can I do to get him back?
2
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 10:38pm
My ex-boyfriend broke up with me about 4 months ago, and we had a relationship as friends after we broke up. It was kind of rocky though. And now for the past 2 1/2 months we haven't talked at all, but people tell me that there is no way that he could have gotten over me that quickly. My life is miserable without him. I cared more about him more than myself, and he made all the bad things in my life seem okay and that everything would work out in the end. I am going back to school soon, and he is going to the same school I am, and I was wondering if anyone had any advise on how to catch his eye and get him to notice me again, and have a second thought about me and him. Words cant describe how I feel for him and even though it might sound crazy, it is how I feel, and I don't see that changing anytime. Please Help me!!:(
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 10:14pm
Sweetie, first things first....LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN YOU LOVE ANYONE ELSE!!! This way you won't be as torn and lost when things don't work out. Always do what is best for you with any relationship, because people (men) will more times than not do what is in their best interest. Now, what I think that you should do to get hom to notice you is pick yourself up, carry yourself as a young lady (not like a helpless girl looking for love). The reason is because guys can't deal with an emotionally needy woman....Make him notice you by you noticing yourself. What I mean by that is, stand out from the crowd by holding your head up, be polite to him, and keep on walking. Trust me, this may seem like some weird game to play, but if you don't make a guy chase after you, what reason would he have to look for you if you are always available :-) This will be really hard at first b/c you still love him and right now you want nothing more than to be in his presence. But give it time. Give him time. Give yourself time. He is probably expecting you to run after him. Even if he isn't, don't make yourself a mat for anyone to walk on. You will appreciate the way that you handle yourself and most important don't give in to the temptation to MAKE HIM NOTICE YOU. Because he will already notice you due to the fact that you two will be going to the same school. The best advice that I ever received from an older female friend of mine is (and this would be true in your situation because you two are already very familiar with one another)....the more scarce you are, the more you will stay on his mind.....Always remember, it is human nature to want what you cannot have. Stay strong and good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 10:30pm
To add more to what you wrote.

No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect themselves.

Men know when they are crappy to women and those women who take it will not be respected.

Being nice and hoping they will come back doesn't work.

My former x "dumped" me and wanted to be friends.

I said, hey if my company was good enough for you as a girlfriend then you don't get the benefit and privilege of my friendship. Even tho when these situations occur it affects your self esteem you can't let him know.

And your right when you are scarce that is when men think of you the most.