What can't I just find a normal guy?
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| Mon, 01-23-2006 - 8:33am |
I don’t understand…
I am almost 34 years old. I am a medical professional. I would describe myself as a lanky, attractive redhead with a Bohemian flair. I am honest. I am witty. I am artistic. I am elegant and smart. I have been divorced for 5 years and just recently started “dating” again.
Problem: Where are all the normal guys???
I am not asking for Mr. Perfect or even Mr. Prefect’s second cousin once removed. I just seems like the guys that I meet say that they are looking to find that “one special girl”, but then we go out a few times and I think that everything is going along great….good compatibility….good conversation….good chemistry…. And then they stop calling, or don’t call as much, or say that they have only one night free this week and they are going out with “a friend”…
I am not suffocating, I am not clingy, and I am honest to a fault.
What do men really want???? I must be doing something wrong. I am supportive, I have a very busy career, and I do not have any disgusting personal habits that I am aware of. What gives???
P.S. I live in the Chicago suburbs, so if anyone has any grand ideas of where all the good men are, please advise.

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i know exactly what you mean!! I am a 32 year old professional, but live in the Southern Hemisphere, so couldn't help you with the Chicago search! :-)
I have heard that men know very soon after they have met you a couple of times whether they would like to pursue you or not. We on the other hand hang around and hang around until we get ignored and let down over and over again... Apparently it takes half the amount of time for a man to notice you than for you to notice him..
So I guess that men are prepared to walk away far sooner than we are. I am in a similar situation where I meet guys all the time, but none of them end up sticking around - mostly because they have lost interest...
But the good news is that as you get older your knowledge is greater and you know sooner if things are going the way you would like them to, and you get bored hanging around waiting for THEM to decide whether they would like you in their lives or not. What about what YOU want and your expectations. Stay focused, stay strong and keep busy with your friends, hobbies and family and someone out there will want to be with a strong, independent woman like yourself!
good luck
from
Farawaygirl
Farawaygirl:
I'm actually interested in the fact that you're in the southern hemisphere somewhere. Could I ask where... and how you like it? I've visited Brazil once, but that's all I've seen of the continent. I'd like to see more.
hey there new york guy..
I live in South Africa - Cape Town to be exact. Have you ever been here? It is the most beautiful place in the world. We have a vibrant city, some of the best beaches in the world and winelands that even the Americans would be jealous of!! :-)
Don't know much about Brazil though - sorry ;-)
I found it a bit telling that the ladies that responded similarly are all successful career women :)
Sandra, I love your post! I'm a doctor, science-egg-head, can do all sorts of brilliant things in my brain during the day, but am oh so lonely at night. I've been through the mill with men. I've dated the alpha guy and the blue collar guy and the sweet, gentle, intellectual guy and you are right. It all starts out fine that I am a doctor, but it ends up with statements from them like "what do you see in me? I'm not good enough for you." or "I'm more comfortable dating someone else who has more of my education and less of yours." or the ever-odd, giant-fight starter from one of my unfaithful exes "You can not reconstitute a lyopholized enzyme and expect activity at the metal binding site!" Tee hee...what a dork he was.
Can you expound on how you whittled them down, and how you now knew your guy was right for you? I'm learning more and more about myself through this relationship pain, but at middle age, I have so many less dudes to choose from. I don't want to whittle if I don't have to. I'm turning into the world's biggest dating disaster!
Congrats on your success!
Chick
"You can not reconstitute a lyopholized enzyme and expect activity at the metal binding site!"
Can I borrow that line? I don't even know what it means, but I've GOTTA drop that on some unsuspecting person sometime!
This is not an atypical story no matter where you live. It's not about you, it's about them and where they are or aren't in their lives.
I had one relationship after my divorce and it lasted about 2 years. I have been out with a few guys since then, but nothing really evolved into anything great.. I do think that it is a good idea...meeting lots of people. I figure what could it hurt "dating around" a bit. Perhaps my expectations are too high, or perhaps I want things to fall into place right away. Rome wasn't built in a day... Thanks for all your helpful advice!
~Cheryl
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