What to Do
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What to Do
| Thu, 05-10-2007 - 2:21am |
Well I'm gonna try to make this short as I can. I just recently seperated from my husband of almost 16yrs. We have two boys. which live with him. He already has a girlfriend that has moved in him. only after 2 months.
But my problem is I live with my brothers ex-girlfriend, which we have been friends. Anyways, I pay to live here. I work with this guy that was a really close friend of hers at one time. They arent anymore because he lied to her about liking me.
They were involved when they were teenagers off and on. They are now going on 41. I am almost 37. Well him and I work together. Well he starting liking me and asked me out. I asked her if she had a problem with it because if so i wouldnt go. She told me over and over that it was fine.
Well when he came to get me that evening her mood changed big time towards him. She acting like a bitch. well later that evening we had some beers and went back to his place. We messed around but never did it. She ended up texting him saying are you happy now and that was it. I told him he better take me back. She got out of bed and acted all pissed off and then went back to bed.
Well she decided to totally end their friendship and everything because ne has lied to her about liking me. She walked in when he was sitting on the floor in front of me leaning in between my legs. We had been kissing but she didnt see that. She seen him sitting there basically on his knees in front of me. She got all kinds of pissed off and left. He went to his car and called her and told her that he really liked me. She asked him what does she(ME)have that I dont? Well, we still try to see each other, but have to hide it. She told I could have anyone here I wanted. But now I cant have him here. Like I said I do pay to live here.
Well, I went to his place one evening when she was out with her friends. I had him pick me up and we went back to his place. That time we did end up doing it. She doesnt know anything about it or us meeting up like that. Like today, We came to get me after he got done with work and we went for a walk, but told him I needed yo be back before she got back so she wouldnt know.
Well, the question is should I have to be hiding like this, like i'm a teenager and continue to live like a prisoner and let her basically tell me who I can see and cant. or am i wrong for seeing him period? I mean we have fun together and he likes me. He wants to go out again, but I am always worried about what she will think or whatever. Do I have a right to see who I want, like I said i am 36 and seperated planning on divorcing. Shes always telling me that I really need to wait to really get involved with someone for like 6months.
What do you think? Do I have a right to see him even though now there friendship is over because of all this? Or should I continue to walk around here worried what she will think all the time and feel guilty about wanting to do things that make me happy.
I really want some advice on this. I care very much about the both of them. I just dont want to do what I want and go out with who i want too. She speaks her mind all the time she is very open and direct, I need to learn to be like that!!
Please help!!!!!
But my problem is I live with my brothers ex-girlfriend, which we have been friends. Anyways, I pay to live here. I work with this guy that was a really close friend of hers at one time. They arent anymore because he lied to her about liking me.
They were involved when they were teenagers off and on. They are now going on 41. I am almost 37. Well him and I work together. Well he starting liking me and asked me out. I asked her if she had a problem with it because if so i wouldnt go. She told me over and over that it was fine.
Well when he came to get me that evening her mood changed big time towards him. She acting like a bitch. well later that evening we had some beers and went back to his place. We messed around but never did it. She ended up texting him saying are you happy now and that was it. I told him he better take me back. She got out of bed and acted all pissed off and then went back to bed.
Well she decided to totally end their friendship and everything because ne has lied to her about liking me. She walked in when he was sitting on the floor in front of me leaning in between my legs. We had been kissing but she didnt see that. She seen him sitting there basically on his knees in front of me. She got all kinds of pissed off and left. He went to his car and called her and told her that he really liked me. She asked him what does she(ME)have that I dont? Well, we still try to see each other, but have to hide it. She told I could have anyone here I wanted. But now I cant have him here. Like I said I do pay to live here.
Well, I went to his place one evening when she was out with her friends. I had him pick me up and we went back to his place. That time we did end up doing it. She doesnt know anything about it or us meeting up like that. Like today, We came to get me after he got done with work and we went for a walk, but told him I needed yo be back before she got back so she wouldnt know.
Well, the question is should I have to be hiding like this, like i'm a teenager and continue to live like a prisoner and let her basically tell me who I can see and cant. or am i wrong for seeing him period? I mean we have fun together and he likes me. He wants to go out again, but I am always worried about what she will think or whatever. Do I have a right to see who I want, like I said i am 36 and seperated planning on divorcing. Shes always telling me that I really need to wait to really get involved with someone for like 6months.
What do you think? Do I have a right to see him even though now there friendship is over because of all this? Or should I continue to walk around here worried what she will think all the time and feel guilty about wanting to do things that make me happy.
I really want some advice on this. I care very much about the both of them. I just dont want to do what I want and go out with who i want too. She speaks her mind all the time she is very open and direct, I need to learn to be like that!!
Please help!!!!!

I would not jeopardize the friendship over a guy that you probably wont be dating for very long. He's a rebound and she is a friend and a roommate.
I was in a similar situation, but the woman was a coworker of mine. She had the hots for a guy and we all started hanging out together. He may have led her on to believe that he wanted from her than what he really wanted. Guys do tease too. Anyway, after a while I did sense that there was something between me and this guy and I asked her if she still liked him. She said, "no, I'm way over that one." She didn't love him or anything like that she just found him cute. She was dating 3 guys at that time. Well, I come to find out that she lied to me and it was too late because we had already been out and been intimate. She was very upset and I reminded her that she said that she didn't like him that way. She said, "I lied." If she would have been honest with me, I would have never gone out with him or slept with him. It wouldn't have been worth potentially jeopardizing a friendship or a work relationship.
It doesn't matter whether the relationship your roommate had with this guy was 10 years ago or 10 minutes ago - territory is territory to most people. I went out with a guy at work who had broken up with another woman at work 8 years prior and I still caught her wrath.
If you really dig this guy, find a new place to live and expect your friendship with this woman to change.
She has chosen to stop talking to him and breaking all ties with him.
We really just enjoy being around each other. I really just having him around to talk too.
I do understand whatyour saying, Its just so hard because I still feel like a prisoner here.
I'm still learning about myself too. I'm interesting in learning more about being with a woman too. So, truly its a mess. But nothing wrong going out with him as friends is there?
Live,Laugh & Love
Gwennie....
Well, you are not really friends, you want more from it than that. I know he is a nice distraction but if you continue to see him, you really owe it to yourself to find a new place to live otherwise you will feel like a prisoner and that's not a good feeling.
He is a nice bandaid on your life but you also owe it to yourself to cleanse your soul from the previous break up before you enter into anything else with a man because it will not go away and you will have to address your bad feelings sometime, somewhere and you don't want it to rear its ugly head in the throes of an otherwise ideal relationship with another man. The baggage never drops itself off - you have to dump it.
Live,Laugh & Love
Gwennie....
Please Help
Live,Laugh & Love
Gwennie....
You are not doing anything wrong. He and your friend weren't dating anymore. She is immature.
But... you really should move then, unless you can ignore her immature antics.
You definitely should put the breaks on this relationship.