What to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
What to do?
4
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 12:12pm
Ok…what do I do…or should I do anything?
I have a little crushy-crush on this guy. A little background on me: I’m one of those people who believes in fate: if something’s meant to be, it’ll happen; if not, it won’t. In regards to dating and relationships, I’ve NEVER pursued a man…I wait on them to come to me. Though I consider myself an attractive woman with a lot to offer (I’m employed, have my own place, have a Bachelor’s degree and am currently in Graduate school), I tend to get approached by men who I don’t have much in common with. So, I’m wondering if it’s time for me to start trying to make things happen for myself. Now, I will say that I try not to go into any dating situation thinking that the guy’s going to be “the one”. I’m a big advocate for friendship first…and seeing where that goes. Ok….
So, the guy I have a crush on (I’m 27…is that too old for a “crush”?) is my Physical Therapist!! My sessions with him are coming to an end in the next few weeks. So, he and I tend to make small talk a lot…when I started going to him, I found out that he graduated from the same school that I’m currently attending. He always asks me how my day/ weekend was, what my upcoming weekend plans are, etc. He seems pretty cool…of course he’s supposed to have interpersonal skills because of his line of work, so I can’t really gauge whether or not he’s interested. What do I do? How do I flirt without flirting? I DON’T FLIRT WITH MEN, so I really don’t know what to do to find out if he’s interested. I think he’s single…he alluded to it a few times. After December, I probably won’t be going to him anymore. I won’t be devastated or crushed if nothing comes of it; however, should I do anything to see what could happen??
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rivegauche25
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 12:56pm

I would wait until the end of your last appointment and then give him your number and say something like, "I've enjoyed talking with you during my appointments. If you'd like to have coffee sometime, I hope you'll give me a call".

I'm pretty sure PTs are under similar ethical guidelines as doctors, so he can't ask you out while the two of you are working together, even if he is interested.

Of course, it could just be that he's just being friendly to you as he would to any client. But giving him your number is a nice way of putting the ball in his court--if he's interested, he'll call.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
In reply to: rivegauche25
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 1:43pm
Thanks for replying. I thought about the ethical thing...I could definitely see how that would be inappropriate.
I don't think I have the courage to give him my number, so I'll probably end up missing out, if he's even interested. Oh well, I'll just continue to dream.
Thank you again!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rivegauche25
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 4:10pm

Fate may offer us opportunity but it doesn't provide us with results. As people we own the responsibility to take action towards our desired results as life doesn't give us things on a silver platter. Your graduate studies is an example of this. If you really believed in fate as stated, then you would be sitting at home and your Masters Degree would simply arrive someday. Silly example I know, but meant to prove a point. You had to take self-responsibility and action towards progress for your Masters (well done!).

The same thing happens in relationships. Bottom line - if you do nothing, you're going to get nothing. It's ultimately your choice, but men won't be wrong if you don't get your way. You own that responsibility.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
In reply to: rivegauche25
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 4:01pm
Hello.
Thank you for your response. Your point makes perfect sense. However, I don't want to make a fool of myself by putting myself out there with the possibility that I'll get shot down. It's too scary! Oh well, I guess I'll never know!
Thanks again for the insight.