What To Do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2006
What To Do?
5
Sun, 05-28-2006 - 12:41pm

I've been dating someone the past few weeks. Everything was amazing. He would call and want to see me everday and then it stopped a few days ago. He wouldn't even return my calls. We never had an argument or disagreement. When I finally got ahold of him he said he wasn't intentionally ignoring me. He has been really stressed and isn't in a place to have a relationship at the moment.

He just sold him house after it being on the market a week and has no idea where he is going to live now. His parents are divorced and his mom is going through a bad time divorcing his stepdad. She wants to move to Florida and his dad wants to move to Vegas. He is an only child and is extremely close to both of them. His grandmother is dying from cancer and now his ex-girlfriend is back dumping her problems on him. She is mixed up in some bad stuff according to him. I understand his reasons, this is a ton of stuff the go through and are all major stressors.

He said the breakup has nothing to do with me and that he definately wants to be friends. I offered to help in any way I could. I want to be there for him and help but I don't know what to do. I'm going to give him is space, but would it be okay to call in say a week or two to check on him or should I let him come to me? I just want him to be ok and it seems like he is losing his support system and doesn't really have anyone to vent to since they're all venting on him. Also, do you think he really wants to be friends or is just saying that? I don't know what to do.

Thanks for reading this and any advice is appreciated.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lizbeth937
Sun, 05-28-2006 - 1:18pm

I think that since you offered to help in any way you could, I'd leave it up to him to contact you.

Alternatively, you might send him an email in a week or two just asking how things are going and letting him know you're available to talk if he wants to. An email is less intrusive and it'll put the ball firmly in his court. Only time will tell whether he was sincere about wanting to be friends or not.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2006
In reply to: lizbeth937
Sun, 05-28-2006 - 5:01pm
I don't have an e-mail address for him. I do have his home address. Would it be too much to send him card?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lizbeth937
Sun, 05-28-2006 - 7:07pm

Eh, that seems a little "too too" to me, but if that's something you would do for a female friend under similar circumstances, then sure.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2006
In reply to: lizbeth937
Sun, 05-28-2006 - 7:10pm
Yeah, I thought that might be a bit much. The more I think about it the more I realize it would be way too much. I think I may just wait it out. Thanks for your advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
In reply to: lizbeth937
Sun, 05-28-2006 - 8:35pm
I would think it has something to do with his ex-girlfriend being back. He probably changed his mind and prefers to give his old relationship another try. That would explain why he suddenly stopped calling, after everything seemed to be fine.