What to do?
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What to do?
| Thu, 11-04-2004 - 12:59pm |
OK ladies, here it goes!! I am 39 (although I look 32), divorced, a succesful executive, good looking. Since my divorce, 3 years ago, I have not had a relationship, just ocassional dates, but now ... well, I met on Friday a very attractive cuban whom from since he saw me, he started to flirt with me from the other side of the club we were. At the end, he asked me for my phone and called me two days after that, the next day and the next day. Finally, last Tuesday we agree to met at the restaurant that he is going to open pretty soon and it was, well, hot, hot, hot since the beginning. He flirted with me like no one else had and I wanted to throw myself to him since the first moment. Needless to say, at the end of the date we were almost having sex but I stopped because I am not one to have sex on my first date and also because I don`t know anything about him. The date was great all the time, he was one of those guys who tells you straight what he wants and I like that, I am old enough to handle that. Well, that was 36 hours ago and I have not heard from him. I want him to call me, I want to have sex with him, just that. This has never happened to me. I always related sex with love, but now its just lust. Should I wait for him to call me or should I call him? The thing is this is the first guy that makes me so crazy, and if I have sex with him, I want it to be more than just one time, not just one. But I just want the sex. What should I do? Am I a bad person for just wanting to have sex? It`s been three years, I have only had sex with my ex-husband in my entire live. I am one of those who got married a virgin!! At 27!!! Ladies, tell me what do you think of this!

But obviously this "date" was geared to get sex...nd apparently you went pretty far and like a high schooler said "I only go to 3rd base".
He is a man...he was pursuing sex...maybe as part of dating and getting to know you -and maybe just because he found you hot and willing.
But if you want "just sex" - call him and have sex...if it goes somewhere fine - but don't expect it to.
As a rule - what men pursue i what they want. He doesn't just have this "attraction base" with you - just because this is the first guy that you've had the lustful hots for.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
Dating isn't about "forming a relationship". Dating is about enjoying whatever is available at the moment with this person that suits your standards and meets your needs of the moment. So there's no "future" in dating.
If you presented yourself as being ready and available, in this "first date" scenario - realize he might be taking the following approach to dating:
Some men date to get to know you and enjoy your company - and whatever else comes iwth it - conversation, shared interests, sex, events, etc. etc. etc.
Some men take you on a date to get sex...and the reason for the "date" is your "payment to go home".
What they do not want is to get to know you or share your interests or ideas...they like "glamour and excitement" that is tinged and fraught with sexual heat...and they take you out as insurance that "you have to go home." And, they won't call you up again untilthey're ready for another big night on the town that is primarily revolving around sex.
He hasn't returned your call, or asked you out again that night. That indicates pretty much that he wants "sexually involved scenarios" with you - rather than dates that involve getting to know you as a person.
Don't confuse being taken to an expensive restaurant, or out dancing as being "romanced" because he finds you so intelligent, attractive, charming and amusing and he wants to know you better.
That is often the "payment in advance" to make sure that you stay away - until he's ready for another "romantic or lust-filled sexually explicit evening."
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
This guy is obviously willing to "do you" if he doesn't have to put any more effort or money into it.
So call him up, you pay for the room, meet him there - get yourself "done" and expect nothing else - and move on.
He might come back occasionally for another "round".....but he's not interesting in dating and made it clear from the get-go your date was about sex. You then "turned him down" after leading him on.
So if you want to "get done" - just make sure that you use protection and that after you're done - if it gets wild and crazy you get yourself checked for STD's and AIDS.
The guy has no problem "doing" whoever is willing - you think you're the only 37 who looks 32...that wants "some" and isn't requiring to be dated to put out?
Doubt it.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
If you know that you only want sex, then I thik you shold go for it. Men do it all the time, and I doubt very seriously that he will turn you down.
Besides if you have not had any action in 3 years, You are MORE than past due
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com