What to do....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
What to do....
1
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 12:31pm
My love dilemma....

About a year ago i was dating a guy, who introduced me to his brother and we hit it off immediately. Things with the brother didn't last long at all, but I talk to his brother almost every day via MSN or phone, or more likely both. He is one of my best friends, and I one of his, we share almost everything...i've never had chemistry like this before. I'd be lying if i'd say i'd never thought about making it more than friends but he lives quite far from me, and has had a girlfriend as long as i'd known him so I was happy to just be friends.

His girlfriend has never met me but we have talked on occasion, and she always seemed to get along with me. Just recently she has decided to hate me. She told him he wasn't to call me anymore, so he all but stopped calling but still talked to me everyday on MSN. Then she told him to stop talking to me there as-well. When he didn't she hacked into his account and block-deleted me., and changed the screen name to "I hate (my name)" (yeah, sounds psycho to me too) He broke up with her few hours later. This was about 2 days ago....

After it happened he logged on to tell me, and to tell me he didn't want to talk to anyone so I was the only person on his list he hadn't blocked. Its kinda a mixed signal, because he has been rather distant for the last 2 days.... On the other hand I am the only person he's talking to and it cant be easy for him with a relationship of over a year ending.

Okay....thats all the background info.... my dilemma now. I'm in a brand new relationship (3 weeks) and confused. I like the guy, but when the potential for my best friend came along suddenly my boyfriend doesn't look so great. I know i don't want to rush into anything as it will take him awhile to recover... but i don't want to make him think I'm unavailable either. I'm not even sure he's interested in that way... i mean he always tells me how anyone I date isn't right for me, and how connected he thinks we are.... Why is it when men are concerned i suddenly sound like a 12 year old girl passing notes to her crush?

Anyone have some words of wisdom?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 12:37pm
You don't want to rush into anything with this friend of yours. Who knows if he's going to want something more from you or if he'll get back with this other woman. Give him time and space. Keep dating the other guy and try to have fun with him. If it's meant to be with the friend it will happen, but don't stop your life to show him you're desparate to be with him.

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