what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2004
what to do
3
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 9:09am
I've already written to one other board, so this may be a repeat. Here's the scene: I met this guy in December, we hit it off great. He says he is interested in a relationship. He's divorced for one year. Here's whats got me. Some of his ex's stuff was still in the house (clothes, picture albums, and one room full of her childhood stuff). Supposedly she doesn't have anywhere to store it. Fine. I'm under the impression they don't talk (from him). The other day, I'm at his house and she calls, wanting to know how his doctor visit the day before went. He runs downstairs with the phone, they talk about five minutes, and he swears he doesn't know why she would call. He had called her the day before to see if she'd had any luck getting a storage building. I really like this guy, and we've gotten along great. But he hasn't invited me to meet his family yet, and now with this i'm wondering what's up? Should I hang in there, since he's going to pack her stuff up this weekend, and should I trust him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
In reply to: cdquig
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 7:59am
As for having her stuff, that's semi-normal. A year after my divorce I had my ex's stuff and the only reason for it was because I didn't want to just throw it out. But when he didn't come back for it, I chucked it.

As for not talking to her, I have a simple question for you--Logically speaking, how could he not be talking to her if she knew about a doctor's appointment? Something seems a tad fishy, no? And why would he have to "hide" the conversation with her? My alarms are going off here...

As for the friends/family, some guys are much slower about that than others. I've had boyfriends that introduced me to their family two weeks after we were dating and others that took a year. It all depends on the guy.

But I think you need to have a talk with this guy because 2 and 2 isn't adding up to 4 here... Good luck and keep us posted.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2004
In reply to: cdquig
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 10:46am
Thanks for the input. I need to clarify, though, that he said he called her to see if she had gotten a storage building for her stuff. He is a otherwise wonderful guy, he calls regularly, we go out every weekend, and he says he is interested in long term w/ me. He waited a year to date after the divorce so he could "divorce her mentally", and I think that's a good sign. But she was his first love and real relationship, and I'm wondering if he's over it? Thanks!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
In reply to: cdquig
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 10:51am
Ah so that changes things a bit. I'd still wonder why he felt the need to hide the convo though.

It's a good sign that he waited a year. And you know what? He may never be over her. I mean are we ever really over someone we loved? Not really. But I would just take things slow, protect your heart and see if anything else springs up.

What does your heart say? Has he moved on enough to be there with you? Or do you think he's not with you 100%?