What to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2004
What to do?
5
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 10:02pm
Hello I have never done this kind of thing before but I wanted to know others opinions becuase maybe I am looking at it wrong, so here goes. I had a relationship with my boss( it is a small business) about 4 months ago, we really got along awesome and really clicked on more than just the physical level. But then his wife moved back in due to financial problems so we called it quits. Well now she has moved back out and he has filed for a divorce, but the thing of it is, is that we slept together about three weeks ago and he had siad somethings that had made it sound like he wanted to get back together soon. And now that his wife is gone he is acting weird around me and not returnign phone calls. He still comes into work to see me all the time and flirts alot lately but the phone calling thing is throwing me off, does he want to be with me anymore or not? I really do care about him and I am hoping itis just from everything that is going on with the divorce and everything that he is acting weird towords me . Can anyone explain or have any suggestions about my situation ? Please help

Thank you So very much to anyone who had any ideas

LOve keegan24
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: keegan24
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 10:17pm
When someone's marriage is falling apart, and they start sleeping with another person besides their spouse - it isn't about having healthy lasting relationship. It's the farthest thing from it.

I am sure he likes you and would like to continue a sporatic, sexual relationship if you want to let him use you like that. But I really think what he wants is to enjoy his new single status and NOT be tied down for a while. How long was he married? I'm wondering if he was trying to prove to himself "he still has it" when he "clicked" with you. Big ICK factor, but that's what I really think.

It's really best to stay away from someone who is married and the wife is moving out and then back in and then back out again. Some on this board suggest that you will be best if you wait until he is divorced for at least a year - and in your case I would whole heartedly agree with that concept - except I'm going to be even harsher and say stay away from him period, forever.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: keegan24
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 10:25pm
Since he is a married man (separated is still married) he probably thinks better of having an affair with his employee while he is still married. Please stop having affairs especially with your boss - and try not to date men who are not yet divorced or newly divorced. And I would look for another job.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2004
In reply to: keegan24
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 10:36pm
hello Deena33-

I thank you for your advice, at the time when we were dating he had been seperated for 2 years and was already in the process of divorce so I didn't consider it an affair becuase the marraige was already over, but I do appreciate you advice thank you hun

keegan24
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: keegan24
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 10:58pm
Separated is still married - whether or not it was technnically adultery it is still a bad decision to be involved with a man who is still married. The marriage might be over for him emotionally but he is still a married man - his relevant commitment remains to his wife as it has to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: keegan24
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 6:10pm
Until the divorce papers are filed, served and finalized, the man is still MARRIED! I do not care if wifee poo moves in the attic!! He is flirting with you to get an ego boost and he is using you as the booster. Please put cold water on that and start "duty dating" even though you may date guys that resemble Steve Urkle (remember him?),just get busy with your life. If he loves you like he says he does, he needs to show it and leave the "love rap" for the rappers (who get paid well for it). You get the picture, girlfriend and enjoy your life, it's the only one you got!

Take care!