What to do in this crazy situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
What to do in this crazy situation
12
Fri, 05-26-2006 - 12:16pm


I'm older and I should have better judgement about men...but when it comes down to finding someone I've fallen for its hard to foresee your emotions. I recently met a younger man, he's 6 years younger than I am, which isn't a big gap. I found him v. charming, attractive, and talented. I met him online and met him the next day, he pursued me for a week after our initial meeting. He would call and text me practically everyday and say how he thought about me and all that makes me feel wanted and special. I was out of town so we decided to meet for dinnter...afterward I went back to his apt and ended up sleeping with him. Afterwards it became awkward, it seemed as though he stopped being interested or didn't make me feel good about myself. I felt empty and used. He'd barely start a conversation with me and when I left, he didn't bother to walk me out or even worried if I got home safe...like he did before. I know the situation, I was just one of his conquests. I should stay away and not speak to him anymore and all that he's interested in is a sexual relationship. I've seen him 3 times after that and its been the same. We don't even go on a date, its just meeting as his apt.

The funny thing is he doesn't come across being someone like that, he's really nice and is somewhat nerdy and goofy, not your player type or least expect it. I like every aspect of him and I can't seem to say no whenever he text me or calls. I've fallen for him. I know better, I just in a vulnerable state and I not sure what to do at this point.

Its hard to let go cuz I'm so into him and perhaps I'm judging him too quickly. What is happening here?

thanks for listening.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 4:57pm

I guess we all go through similar situation like these, its hard to accept the reality when your so blind to it. Yes, I agree time is of an essence. Well we did decide to be friends, however, I didn't think he would contact me so soon after he dumped me. He has been emailing me and saying things like "i don't know about her, its weird to be dating her"....he's pretty much confiding in me about his current girl, which I don't understand why he would want to tell me about. I, of course, responded back just to give my 2 cents. He seemed really confused, at the end he said "love u" to me.

I'm not sure how to respond to that. I think of it more like thanks for the advice or so forth. He's really confusing me as well. I'm not sure if he's playing some game to keep me in his grasp just in case it doesn't workout between them and he'll have me to fall on. I still have feelings for him so its hard to just cut it off with him.

Just when I thought things were solved...I even started seeing someone recently, only 1 date..but it still doesn't help me to forget about him. I'm not even into the new guy who seems really nice and cool. I think I'm holding just to find out what is lurking deep in his heart and mind.

Oh well, c'est la vie. LOL

Thanks for listening.
Cindy

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 7:18pm

Well, the choice is yours: you can cut off contact so you can move on and be open to someone new who might actually be right for you, or you can continue to keep in contact with this guy and be stuck in a painful limbo with someone who isn't right for you.

You are free to make whichever choice you wish, of course, but realize that each choice has its consequences and take responsiblity for choosing that set of consequences.

Sheri

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