what do i do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
what do i do?
2
Sat, 06-05-2004 - 3:19pm
lots of questions/thoughts in my head - the only place i share it in is here - so your thoughts/comments appreciated. sorry for it's length - emptying my heart :)

i'm one of those people who is crazy about life and never grows up at heart, who is very appreciative of what life offers and consideres herself very lucky and happy person. most of the time i wake up with a smile and look forward to a great day. that's how i've been all 24 years of my life. i'm also a committment freak, even in friendships - love meeting people but there's only a handful of people whose friendship means a world to me, flirt & go out sometimes but falling in love is a rare occasion

2 years ago i met someone who managed to get me say ILY words first(!), who became so special to me and promised me sun, moon and stars in the package with his never-ending love. all was so great. then he broke it off. all of a sudden, giving various reasons none of which seemed real after all that we had. it took me a LONG time to have a closure point, to accept it in my heart; too long before i became usual cheerful person & stopped having tears in my eyes everytime smth reminded me of him and us. it's a year now when all our problems started & led to breakup.

i still think of him sometimes - much less but still do. miss his presence. how silly! with all my heart i realize that he was just a regular guy, that our relationship was no different from zillions of those that start and finish daily in this world! silly me..

with all this baggage, i want to start dating again - so many great guys around, sweet, cool, interested in me. but i find it hard to commit to relationship again. i'm scared as hell to be hurt again. scared that i'm unable to fall in love and feel the same i felt for D. scared that my old feelings for him can get in a way and ruin anything new i might have.

i know exactly what i want from the next relationship, and even better - what i don't want. the problem is in openning up and giving someone a chance...

how?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: narg56
Sat, 06-05-2004 - 4:24pm
narq56...

You sound like a lovely woman...who would be a great catch for any man...except for one flaw:

YOU BREAK AND HURT TOO EASILY WHEN YOUR PLANS DON'T WORK THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO!

If you honestly believe what you wrote in your profile (concerning figure skaters), then do it...and don't look back! Every relationship with ANYBODY is a gamble. There are no guarantees for longterm love or eternal togetherness.

Is the process a risk? YOU BET! Do most men and women take that risk? ABSOLUTELY!

Why don't you approach every new relationship AS A FRIENDSHIP? Don't set up a timeclock for yourself with over-expectations! If you find yourself comfortable with a particular man...get to know him and let him get to know YOU!

The emotional bonding for each other might not last a lifetime....but your friendship might?

Pianoguy



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
In reply to: narg56
Sat, 06-05-2004 - 7:21pm
I just posted something very similar to this in another thread but honestly, how do you try?
Lilypie Baby Days