What do I do??? Help!
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| Fri, 09-08-2006 - 1:52pm |
Hi all,
I have a little dilemma and I'm hoping you all can give me your advice on this. First of all, I just want to give you a little background about me. I have been single for a little over a year. I just recently started dating again (I'm 30), and all of my friends have someone so they're not into the whole "going out" thing (not in that way anyway) and frankly I'm not too much into the bar/club thing myself anymore either, so I've been going the online dating route. I've met a few people so far, gone on a few first meets, all nice enough guys but just nothing has really became of anything yet. So I met this one guy from a site and we talked on the phone a few times and got along absolutely great. He had me laughing the whole time. I couldn’t wait to meet him. Now here comes the part where I need the advice….
When I met him in person, he didn’t look like his picture in a couple of ways. 2 ways that are actually kind of important to me. He said he was 5'10 in his profile and he is a lot shorter than that. That's not a real big deal I guess. Also in the picture he was wearing a hat so I wasn’t ready for when he showed up not wearing a hat to see the fact that he was going bald. That DOES happen to be a big deal to me. That's one thing that's a big issue with me. I am just not attracted to men who are balding or bald. I know I seem extremely picky, but as I read in someone else's post here, we are all entitled to our own tastes and have a right to be happy and attracted to who we choose to be with. Everyone I tell this story to is saying that it is never going to work if there is not atleast SOME attraction there. And there isnt. Only the fact that we get along great and would probably make great friends. What do you all think I should do?

Is it like a huge bald spot or just slightly going bald? I know hair matters alot in looks for both genders, but I know men in particular are very sensitive in this area. I know several awesome guys who lost their hair through no fault of their own of course. Its just sucks that it happens too many at such a young age. I know a guy who went almost completely bald by age 24!! All genetics of course, but there is technology to help with baldness too.
I don't know if this totally turned you off, but why not give him another chance and if you still can think of yourself with him, then move on. I think that if he treats you well and is nice that should be an incentive to give him a chance, you never know. Good luck!
There is no reason to say at this point that there is no spark.
I've been in the same situation. He was short (but he did include that in his profile) but he was also balding and he had a hat on in his profile. We had a great time on our date. Conversation was very easy to initiate. I could talk to him for hours. There was just no attraction. He asked me about it after our date. he told me to be straight up with him. He'd rather me do that then just blow him off. I told him that I really enjoyed the time I spent with him and would love to be friends and hang out but that I didn't feel that spark. He respected the fact that I told him. We've met up a few times for coffee or a run to the book store. I ask him about his dating life and he asks me about mine. We only talk once in a blue moon now but it's nice when we do and there's none of that "dating pressure" with him. He knows where it stands.
Good luck~