What do I do now?
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 08-26-2006 - 7:36am |
So I went on a date with a guy I met a few weeks ago. It went really well, we seem to share the same views on things, he's nice, smart and exactly my type. I may have been cold - I tend to avoid physical contact until I'm fairly sure that things are going somewhere, otherwise I'd get too emotionally involved. Thing is, he doesn't know my city (country) at all, and got me to plan the first date. There might also be a few cultural issues going on. I really love his country, went there, and have been learning the language for some time. He seemed to appreciate that and talked about his hometown a lot, which was fascinating.
He texted me later that night and we've been e-mailing and texting each other back and forth since then. But he never seems to actually take the initiative of asking me out somewhere. I'm not worrying about this - I've always been single (I have ridiculously high standards and am fine with them) and really don't mind that, but if he did start to like me I wouldn't want to mess it up. I'm very independant and don't mind taking initiatives, I just am unexperienced and have no idea what the right move would be. (By the way, neither of us is a phone person.)
Edited 8/26/2006 7:47 am ET by gaby362

What you have here is a guy who doesn't like to take the initiative. You don't need to know a city to plan a date. Everyone has a guidebook they can read, all he'd have to do is open it up, find something to do and suggest it.
This man may enjoy email and texting more than getting together face to face. Perhaps you ought to cool the computer messaging a bit.
I would be turned off by his lack of initiative, personally. What I would probaby do is email him something like, "call me when you would like to get together again" and then not really respond unless he proposes another get-together. Even a non-phone person can make ONE phone call to plan a date, for crying out loud ;-).
Sheri
Edited 8/27/2006 10:07 am ET by gaby362
Some people are content to be email and phone buddies. If that's not what you want, then take a bit of initiative, especially if you feel that he might not know you're interested in seeing him again (although for me, if a guy is that timid and won't take a chance on asking me out again, that's a turn off).
As for when, I'd do it when you can't stand him not asking you out ;-), whether that's today, or a week from today.
Sheri