what do I do part III

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
what do I do part III
3
Sun, 12-05-2004 - 6:03pm

I do need to be fair and stop playing games, I am just so scared of getting hurt. I have spent the last almost year single trying to be happy alone and content with myself so I could in turn be in a healthy, good relationship! Now I am ready to be in one with him and I am devestated. Plus he has only been out of an engagement for 5 mo so I don't think he could be ready do you?

How should I show him I care anyhow? I don't know how? I almost freeze up at the fear of being rejected. Any suggestions? Do I act like a freind only as to not scare him away?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sun, 12-05-2004 - 6:09pm

Hi dawnisbella...

First, if you'd be so kind, would you keep everything to one post by replying to the posters? My old brain can't follow numerous posts about the same thing... :) Thankies!

Second... don't worry about 'acting' like a friend--Be a friend. This guy has a lot going on in his life right now. Try treating him like you want to be treated, with understanding, compassion and care. Realize that right now his mom takes center court. Try to be there for him by asking him if there's anything you can do for him, etc. But I wouldn't try pushing him into anything just now.

And what exactly are you devastated about? About not being with him? If that's the case, then maybe you need to take a little more time for yourself. You've done a great job by taking a year off to yourself to find you. Remember though that when you are truly comfortable in your skin, you won't be devastated by one person... ;)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Sun, 12-05-2004 - 6:31pm

Hi there

Thanks for the advice. I am not devestated of being without him I am content alone. I am just devestated of facing how I feel and sharing it with him only to be rejected and told he only wants to be friends. I would rather not discuss it than to hear the rejection. I have been a great friend to him over the months. I tell him to call anytime he needs to talk and I always take him food I have cooked for dinner and I am just good to him. So who knows.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sun, 12-05-2004 - 6:36pm

Ahhhh gotcha. Sorry for misreading. :)

I know it's scary to reveal your feelings BUT...

The bigger the risk, the greater the rewards.
Take no risks, live life safe, ho hum!

:)

The worst he can say is 'I don't feel the same for you...' And so what? At least you won't be killing yourself with not knowing!

Good luck.