What do you do when you life is screwed

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2003
What do you do when you life is screwed
11
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 2:51pm
It may be an off topic post but I found that here is the biggest traffic. Well, what do you do when you life is screwed in many ways? Like job wise, relationship wise......When you don't feel any power. You just sitting there and watching life passing by. You're jumping for one job to another just to make some income. You haven't been in relationship for so long. All your date seem to have interest in you for the first 3-4 dates that they disappear. All you can think is how miserable your life is. You stooped enjoying things you used to like. Next thing you see you drink every night just to relax and forget your pain. You feel so unhappy.......What would you do? I think I'm falling apart.......

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 11:30pm
I've been where you are many, many, many times. These are some of the things I have done.

I journaled, wrote down every nasty gripy crappy feeling I had. It was my journal, I did not have to be nice, I did not have to hide anything. Sometimes, I would burn what I wrote, or simply throw it away.

I started kickboxing (still do) and when I do, I imagine the faces of the people (a grand total of 2) who really pissed me off. Sometimes, depression is anger turned inward, against oneself, when it should have been directed to someone else.

Forget about trying to feel positive and grateful, that will come later. Forget about comparing yourself to someone who seems to be worse off. It seems you have wounds that need to be healed, and just because someone next to you is missing a leg or two does not mean your wounds are any less painful.

Forget about baking someone cookies and reaching out, unless you really want to. That will also come later. Feel what you feel now, first. Accept what you are feeling, and get it out of your system. A walk in nature helps. Mother Nature can absorb the negative energy and give it back to you in a way that is helpful to you. When you feel up to it, pass it on to others.

Therapy can help, as long as it's not someone who is as sick as their most challenging client. Do some shopping, interview different therapists, if you decide to go that route.

Peace to you,

A~

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