what do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
what do you think?
6
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 10:01pm

what do you all think about persuing a guy you like. I've written recently asking your advice about this guy I have been "hanging out" with. We see each other once or twice a week. But we do not talk everyday. I really enjoy his company and would like to talk more. Do I say something? Or do I just wait for him to pursue me more even though he may not)?

thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 10:22pm
This is a hard one... Does he give you any "signs" that he's interested in more than just friendship with you? Does he go out of his way to be friendly and considerate (opening car doors and picking up the tab)? Also is he the shy type? If he's not showing any signs of wanting more than friendship, this may not be a good idea to pursue a relationship with him. I've seen it work out for some people and I've seen it backfire as well. Guys by nature like to do the pursuing. If he actually is pursuing you, you may want to tell him how you feel. But don't spill your heart out. Just let him know in a nice understated manner and let him take it from there. Otherwise, he could get overwhelmed.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 3:52am

how long have you known him? is this a new friendship where he might still be getting comfortable with you, or is this an established friendship. yeah, do look out for the signs...but it could also be easy to confuse close friendship kinda interest with a romantic interest unless you feel it in you that it's definitely leaning towards the romantic side. if he is thinking the same as you do, he might be hesitating too, and might be treading cautiously. if i were you....i might start off with subtle things and see if he picks up on it and responds. this way, he might get a hint that i am open to him.

i do, however, agree with gingersnapelle that dont pour ur heart out and overwhelm him. adjust ur course as u go along. and if he is alert to such stuff, he will surely pick up on it.

just as an example.....u might tell him u missed him. sure, friends do tell each other they were missed, but if u have not used that expression with him before, he will surely pay attention. or u might do something really caring for him. and sometimes.....just a gaze held a LIL bit longer can tell all. it doesnt have to be over the top at all.

and if a point comes when u feel u cannot stop it anymore and u have to tell him how u feel, know what the consequences would be, and tell him! sometimes, it's best to just be honest in order to have our lives take some direction! otherwise, we might all end up being stuck in the same place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 10:03am

Your post sounds like my situation.

There's a guy I'm really interested..but don't know what to do.
As I'm quite shy & inexperienced with all these dating things.

Would you tell us if he showed any interest in you ?
Like other posters suggested..more background would help other posters
to give you any opinion..

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2004
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 11:20am
but how do u really know if the guy is ineterested??? u cant really tell by just talking to the person....are there signs to look out for???? are there any gestures??? i guess im in the same situation and i could also use some help :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 11:48am




Edited 8/13/2005 4:50 pm ET ET by fiona80
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 11:59am
Hi ladies,
I know this is so frustrating. My guy definitely shows me signs like going out for drinks, we went out for dinner once. I just don't want to scare him off bec. unfortunately guys like the chase. It's such a game.