What do you think his comment meant?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2002
What do you think his comment meant?
5
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 2:24pm
I was out for the fourth time with this guy i met awhile ago. He asked me where i was, and what i was looking for, as for a relationship standpoint. I really like him and i do want more than just casual dating, i want relationship with him, so i answered that i was tired of meeting all these people, and i wanted to focus on just one person and have a relationship. He said: "I'm not looking for anything complicated, but it doesn't mean that i don't want it"..That comment kind made me cold. What does that really mean? Thanks to all who respond.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2005
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 2:30pm
well that is kind of a weird comment. I would have asked him to elaborate. Sounds like maybe he just doenst want a really high maintenance relationship, but at the same time does want something more than casual? Sounds like he is unsure, but is wanting to let you know that he is somewhat looking for something serious. Again i would ask for clarification.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2002
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 3:26pm
I was really confused with his comment and he added that right now he was in a happy place, that he wasn't looking for anything, and at the same time, he said "if it happens, happens"... i was not trilled after that, it kinda ruined the end of the night for me. Then he asked me out again for this Thursday, and i said yes, so i really don't know what to make it about this all thing..
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 5:17pm

Yeah, I think you're better off NOT pressuring him to say he wants to be one-on-one with you. Because it sounds like he has already told you he's comfortable "just dating" for now, and he isn't ready to make any promises, yet. That makes sense to me. You've only been out together 4 times. In fact, I think you should look at his "if it happens, it happens" comment in a positive light. That says that he's at least open to the POSSIBILITY of something serious happening down the road.

The one thing you should clarify, at this point, is whether you are sexually exclusive if you're having sex with each other.

Otherwise, relax and enjoy the dates as they happen. If after another couple of weeks of dating you still feel like you should be seeing each other exclusively, I would bring the subject up again, and I would be very clear. But be prepared to WALK if he isn't ready to go one-on-one.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 9:56pm

It means he's a guy! You've only been out 4 times, so he's not gonna profess undying love. And he said he's not closed to the idea of a commitment in time. So just try to relax and enjoy the journey. Save the next talk for several months down the road.


Good luck

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2002
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 10:09am
UPDATE...last night we had our 5th date...and we had a great time, and as you said i will take the journey, and hope that it continues on further. We met last November and we have been in contact on and off, i was always very attracted to him from the moment i saw him, and all kind of thoughts about us being together, and last night it finally happened, after 7 months..it was perfect, i'm on cloud nine today, and i hope i can make it through this work day, it's being hard to concentrate at work, i can't stop thinking about him, i just hope for the best, a little scared of what can follow after that, but hopping it's good...