What do you want?
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What do you want?
| Mon, 09-25-2006 - 5:56am |
What to you is the difference between wanting a relationship and wanting to see where things go? And which do you want? If someone offered to see where things go, what would you do? If from the beginning, they told you they wanted a relationship, what would you think?
Curious to see what comes of this one... :o)


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Exactly! You can't get somewhere if you don't know where you're going, IMO.
So, to me, it's essential to know that the other person has being in a relationship as a goal, as opposed to just wanting to "see where things go" (and not having the goal of wanting to be in a relationship). I don't think that someone who doesn't have the desire to be in a relationship is motivated to do the things that are necessary to make one happen.
Sheri
I don't think that someone who doesn't have the desire to be in a relationship is motivated to do the things that are necessary to make one happen.
You're right. They dont. Because generally speaking it is these things that put our hearts on the line and place us in our most vulnerable states. Like meeting family and friends, saying I love you, talking out problems, admitting faults and apologizing. In doing these thing, people risk getting hurt. Someone who doesnt see themselves in a relationship doesnt want to take these risks. they see them as chores necessary only in keeping people around and keeping something from coming to a crashing halt in my experience.
This is why i mentioned in my earlier post that people tend to not want to realize that the fear or unwillingness to be n a relationship doesnt serve as a preventative for people falling in love. Sometimes the very people who dont want a relationship find themselves deeply in love and unable to take those necessary steps toward maintaining that relationship. I made the mistake twice now of putting up with this and ended up enabling these people in the process by cutting them slack knowing that we did love each other and hoping they would catch up and become less fearful with time. What's sad is that i know they genuinely tried and yet still n the end it just wasnt enough. You are either ready to take the steps and risks necessary in giving your heart to someone and being with them or you arent in my book.
This seeing where things go stuff isnt just playing it safe. It is just a way of avoiding stating what you can and cannot handle and then dealing with the consequences in that you might have to watch someone you care about walk out the door!
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