What does he really want?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
What does he really want?
14
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 8:44pm
Hi,

I was seeing a guy who had recently broken up with his girlfriend. He had no problem seeing me on weeknights but whenever I asked why never weekends he would give me all these excuses until I got fed up and told him no more. He finally told me he didn't want a girlfriend right now but wanted to see me anyway. He said he wasn't going out with anyone but me but because he just got out of a relationship he didn't want another right now. He mentioned he wanted time with his guy friends on the weekends but he wanted to see me weeknights for now. I was hurt but I didn't say anything and he did it again (I knew he would, I was warned) that very next weekend. Anyhow, he called as usual that Monday (from work) to ask to come over on Wednesday (as always) and I very reluctantly said okay but the very moment we hung up I called his home answering machine and said I changed my mind and didn't want to see him and in fact not at all anymore...yes, I'm a coward. Anyhow, he called that very night to tell me how hurt he was with me and can we still be friends then because he wants to keep talking because 'we don't know what the future holds' ???? I said okay, friends but no more. Well, now he calls me every day and if my line is busy asks who, what, where, when how... to which I ignore. (it's just my girlfriends but it's none of his business) Today he called again in the morning to tell me that he is going to his parents home in another State and wants me to watch his dog. I asked why and he said because he only trusts me with his house key and knows I would be good to his dog. It seems I hear from him now more than I ever did when we were kinda, sorta dating... I'm not sure what he's looking for here? Is he just confirming that friends it is and that is why I can continue to watch his dog when he goes out of town? Any help here would be greatly appreciated.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Fri, 06-11-2004 - 9:59pm
Wow, I appreciate all of the responses; I really needed the advise. You all seem to say the same thing so I'd be an idiot to think otherwise. I will return his house key and tell him to find another Patsy to care for his animals and everything else he may need... I mean I will leave it on his answering machine when I know he's at work. I'm kidding, I will tell him when I return his key. :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Sat, 06-12-2004 - 10:18pm
Hi there, it seems that this guy is just looking to hook-up and a dog sitter. He's told you he doesn't want a relationship now. You want more and wait, why wait for someone who cannot give you want you want. Don't you know the valuable time you're lossing in this guy who "only wants to see you on the weekdays for now?". He's hurt, poor guy! and then he tells you he's going out of town and only trusts you to wantch his dog. He has friends, let the friends take care of his dog. You can be meeting more interesting guys wnho ARE available right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Sat, 06-12-2004 - 10:31pm
I appreciate your commens ccruise2001. You make a good point as all the other posts I received. I did return his key this afternoon and told him that if his friends were good enough to spend the weekends with, they can be good enough to watch his dog. The look of shock on his face made it all worth it; I even ignored him as he called out to me and when he called as I walked in the door of my house I picked up the phone and hung it right up when I saw that it was him... Thank God for caller ID. Again, my thanks to all for your advise, I actually feel better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 10:22am
Dear Lucygirl, that's how you take control of your life and make others respect you. Never let a man or a woman treat you like dirt or take advantage of you. If you, then it's your fault. It's empowering, isn't it?

Pages