What does he want?
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What does he want?
| Wed, 09-15-2004 - 3:18pm |
I met this guy on line we started chatting and realized that we went to school together. We started to hang out at my place together, about a month in to the relationship we became intimate. The sex is amazing! Here's the problem, we have been hanging out having sex for about 7 months now. He was working long hours so usually a week or two would go by and then we would hook up again. Always at my place, I have never been to his place. We have only gone on one date outside of the house. All the rest of the times he shows up late at my place and ends up staying the night. Well now he is now longer working and I have yet to hear from him. We did our usual 'booty call' and now it's been a week with no contact. When he is with me he is very affectionate and sometimes he stays the night and we don't have sex ..just cuddle and go to sleep.
I have no clue what to make of this, I simply don't understand some men. When we hooked up..he told me that he was attracted to me in Highschool but I was out of his league. We are now 34 and 35 respectively.
Should I approach him and find out what he wants? we normally chat via a chat program, but now that he isn't working, we haven't even chatted on line lately. Have I given him the wrong idea? I am told that I am pretty good looking, I'm independant, own my own house and have a really good job. Some would say that I am a pretty good catch! What is the deal with this guy?
I have no clue what to make of this, I simply don't understand some men. When we hooked up..he told me that he was attracted to me in Highschool but I was out of his league. We are now 34 and 35 respectively.
Should I approach him and find out what he wants? we normally chat via a chat program, but now that he isn't working, we haven't even chatted on line lately. Have I given him the wrong idea? I am told that I am pretty good looking, I'm independant, own my own house and have a really good job. Some would say that I am a pretty good catch! What is the deal with this guy?

And I know he acts all lovey dovey when you are together.. Well here is my analogy of what is going on. This guy enjoys the sex, and if it is amazing to you... Trust and belileve it is even more amazing to him. Alas that may not be enough to make him want to be in a real committed relationship. If you do not mind having the occasional "jump off" with him I would say to stick it out and see where the relationship goes.
If you are like me and just can not continue sharing your body with a an that you are unsure of his feelings toward you I would say get out right away. It is very difficult trying to figure out what a guy wants especially when he is purposely being distant and aloof.
Good luck
Ms Sylence
Chances are if you allow it, things will never change. He does not want more from you than the physical. And since you have gone along with it and agreed to his terms, if you begin to demand more he will most likely split.
I think you need to sit down and be honest with him. And yourself. If the situation isn't working for you, then change it. Don't keep agreeing to his terms if you're not liking them. Giving him sex isn't going to make him suddenly want more. Going his way is just enabling him to keep disrespecting you.
You have a right to have a boyfriend that you go out with and do things with. That you go to dinner and movies and walks with. Someone who introduces you to their friends and family, someone who can't wait to see you and talk with you.
I wish you all the strength in this. Stand up for yourself.
Alison
If you guys live in the same city, I would find it odd that he has never invited you to his place. You might want to run a background check as well. It is worth it.
I wish you luck.
Dating involves actually leaving the house....