What does he want??
Find a Conversation
What does he want??
| Fri, 12-08-2006 - 12:41pm |
I've been talking to this guy for about 6/7 months now. At first, he was so sweet. He called me all the time and we saw each other when we could and we just seemed to hit it off pretty well. It seemed as though things were heading down a path in which we would end up in a relationship (him n i both do not like to waste time in relationships because we believe that unless u can see a future with someone, then it's pointless to date for fun)
well around august i faced a crisis and i pushed him away a lil bit. I made up every excuse in the book for us to not be together mainly because I was hurt and scared and these feelings had nothing to do with him. I just didn't want to be in ANY relationship with a guy at that point.
Well time went on we continued talking with one another. Not as much though. I was trying to work through my crisis. But then came a point in which I felt that I've overcome the worst of it and I was ready for us to try back again. He seemed very receptive and willing and so we started to go out on a few dates. In the beginning, he used to always come and see me. We used to go to the movies, the mall, whereever. I liked him n he seemed to be really into me. Eventually we ended up sleeping together.
After we slept together, that's where all the sweetness ended. Now rather than him come n see me, he wants me to go n see him. He lives in New Jersey and I live in New York, I don't have a problem going and seeing him, it's just that i don't want to be doing ALL the work. He doesn't really call me as much any more, i do more of the calling. And when i asked him what is this that we have, he pretty much said that we are just two people who like each other and are sleeping together. we're not in a relationship. that bothers me a lot. i want a relationship, i don't want to just be someone that he's having "fun" with. i told him that i can't continue doing this and that i need to know what it is that he wants from this. in other words could it ever evolve into a relationship. he said he needs some time to think about that. this is coming from the guy who was trying to pressure me into a relationship in the beginning and now he doesn't want one?? when we first started talking, he made it clear that he doesn't like to waste time, so then y doesn't he want to enter a relationship with me. I kno for a fact that he isn't talking to any other girls. so what is his problem?!
if some one could help me that would be great. i'm willing to provide more information if necessary...
well around august i faced a crisis and i pushed him away a lil bit. I made up every excuse in the book for us to not be together mainly because I was hurt and scared and these feelings had nothing to do with him. I just didn't want to be in ANY relationship with a guy at that point.
Well time went on we continued talking with one another. Not as much though. I was trying to work through my crisis. But then came a point in which I felt that I've overcome the worst of it and I was ready for us to try back again. He seemed very receptive and willing and so we started to go out on a few dates. In the beginning, he used to always come and see me. We used to go to the movies, the mall, whereever. I liked him n he seemed to be really into me. Eventually we ended up sleeping together.
After we slept together, that's where all the sweetness ended. Now rather than him come n see me, he wants me to go n see him. He lives in New Jersey and I live in New York, I don't have a problem going and seeing him, it's just that i don't want to be doing ALL the work. He doesn't really call me as much any more, i do more of the calling. And when i asked him what is this that we have, he pretty much said that we are just two people who like each other and are sleeping together. we're not in a relationship. that bothers me a lot. i want a relationship, i don't want to just be someone that he's having "fun" with. i told him that i can't continue doing this and that i need to know what it is that he wants from this. in other words could it ever evolve into a relationship. he said he needs some time to think about that. this is coming from the guy who was trying to pressure me into a relationship in the beginning and now he doesn't want one?? when we first started talking, he made it clear that he doesn't like to waste time, so then y doesn't he want to enter a relationship with me. I kno for a fact that he isn't talking to any other girls. so what is his problem?!
if some one could help me that would be great. i'm willing to provide more information if necessary...

I think he's told you pretty clearly what he wants NOW. What he said or did before is irrelevant.
Him saying he wants time to think about it is most likely his way of sweeping it under the rug and hoping you'll drop it and just go along with having sex with him on his terms.
The question is, are you going to settle for that, or move on?
Sheri