What does he want from me

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2007
What does he want from me
2
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 7:07pm
My boyfriend and i broke up about three weeks ago. I've tried to remain friends with him because we dated for a year and a half and were completely in love with eachother, and it's hard to break away from something you're so use to.
Last week i went down to his apartment to talk to him (we needed to talk) and i ended up staying the night... the next morning we got coffee together and he kissed me goodbye. So i went to work, then headed down there again after work to hang out and go swimming... again i stayed the night... it was my day off the next day but he had to work, so when his alarm went off asked him to play hookie with me... i had to go pick up my daughter that morning but i wanted to spend the day with him.. all of us together.. he gets along great with my daughter and loves her very much... he laughed and told me i was a bad influence but ended up staying home. We hung out, swam, got ice cream, took naps.. we had a great relaxing day.
Now... he's pushing me away again, saying he needs space. I know him, and i know he loved me a lot, and i'm still confused on why we broke up with those feelings there for both of us. But i know he didn't fake those days we were together... they were tender and sweet... I don't understand what he's doing... i'm really confused and hurt.
Did he just use me? And if so, then why spend the day with my daughter and i?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 11:05pm

What you experienced is the main reason why clean cuts are the best way to break up. It is very tempting to take it to another level when getting together with exes because everything feels familiar and you did share something special once.

The bottom line is that you broke up for a reason and he has made a decision (based on what you posted) to keep it that way. I'm sure that you were hoping that his attention and days and nights spent with you were signs of reconciliation. What he did was selfish.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sun, 07-22-2007 - 7:12am

It definitely sounds like he cares for you, as you said you've been together for a while. But if he needed to break up 'for space' - is that what happened - then you need both to give it to him (let him know you will nto put your life on hold hoping he'll come back) and to take it for yourself.


You need clarity about why he wants things over, then you need to not have contact - at least not for a while - until the initial shock, pain, longings, are over.

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