What does this mean?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2004
What does this mean?
3
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 6:01pm
I've been trying to figure this out for a while but I haven't had any luck. I hope you will be able to help me with this. I've been friends with this guy for 8 years and we have always been very close. We used to date when we were younger but I wasn't ready for a relationship so we decided to remain friends. It has been maybe 4 years since we went out, but now I have discovered all these feelings for him. We get along great and are always together. We have the same friends and all of us hang out all the time. Well, we started being intimate about a month ago and I thought things were becoming serious but he didn't. He shows all of the signs that he really cares about me, but he keeps saying that he is scared to be in a relationship right now (him and his fiance seperated a year ago b/c she was cheating on him.) I really understand this, but he keeps acting as if we are together. All of our friends think we are dating but I don't guess we are. He is always staring at me, and when we are together it's like I'm the only one present. Well, last night I got really upset because I really love him and want to be with him but I don't know what to do. I know this upset him because he doesn't want to hurt me. He called right after I left his house and I was crying. We talked about things, but he said that he doesn't understand and doesn't know what to do. I just don't want to pressure him into anything unless he is sure that is what he wants. What do I do? I really love him and really feel that he loves me too but he is so scared and I don't know what to do to change that. I really need help on this situation. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 5:14am
I understand you have strong feelings for him but I have to ask...why in this world are you sleeping with him when you two aren't even dating? We all know that women get emotionaly attached when it comes to sex-where men usually don't.....so again..why did you go there? I would end that part of the "friendship" pronto--I know it's an old saying---but why would he buy the cow when he is getting the milk for free? It also sounds like he is not over his ex//or what she did to him. I would back off--big time. Save yourself before you really get hurt. And hey, maybe if you back off--he will have a change of heart--who knows, worth a try!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 12:02pm
I have to say that I agree.........back off. If he truly is just scared about his feelings for you, he will come back, in time. You both obviously have feelings for each other. But, he doesn't know where he's at, emotinally. Back off, give him space. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. I know, waiting sucks, but right now that's all you can do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 11:43am
I would put some distance between you.
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