What does this mean?? Please help
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What does this mean?? Please help
| Fri, 07-29-2005 - 11:06am |
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months now, and everything is going great. He has a house but for like the past 2 months he has been staying at my house like all week. He'll go home check his mail but then come back to my house and stay. So naturally I'm use to having him there. But yesterday he told me that he thinks that maybe he should spend more time at his house...like maybe 2 days out of the week. Does that mean he's feeling smothered? Or am I reading too much into it?
Edited 7/29/2005 11:15 am ET ET by slim_tender

slim tender...
"SWAPPING LOCATIONS" is a TERRIFIC IDEA! !
This way...you get to 'experience his lifestyle and surroundings....not to mention EAT ALL HIS FOOD, SLEEP IN HIS BED, GO THROUGH HIS COLLECTION OF CD's and DVDS, USE HIS COMPUTER...not to mention THE SHOWER!
And yes...YOU'RE READING TOO MUCH INTO THIS.
Take advantage of his hospitality---the way he has taken advantage of yours!
Pianoguy
I agree with Pianoguy. He probably wants to spend a little time in his own envrionment. Everyone wants to sleep in their own bed, shower in their own shower, listen to their cds, play on their own computer (especially is your computer will not support his video games)! YIKES!
I travel a lot for work. And yes, I miss my home! I miss my bed, my shower, my computer, my friends and my gym!
You are definatley reading too much into this. How do I know? I travel at least 3 or 4 months out of the year.
"Save the 24/7 togetherness for marriage."
Ooooooh, careful on this, too!! Even in a marriage, time apart is critical!! ESPECIALLY in a marriage!! :-)
Tracy
<< Spending time together daily goes with the territory of marriage.>>
Spending time together daily also goes with the territory of living together. And, what OP has is a psuedo "living together" arrangement ... it's non-official b/c he still has his own place ... but, spending pretty much every night there isn't a great arrangement, either.
It's important to maintain your autonomy and independence while being a couple. Living together or these types of non-official arrangements ... in my opinion, most of the time, the woman in the relationship reads into it that it's more of a committment than it really is. Now, he wants to spend more time at his own home ... and all things considered, that's a VERY GOOD thing.
Living together isn't a sign of something more to be in the future ... nor is spending all of one's time at one person's home and not their own. Personally, I don't believe in going down this path without a formal committment (ie, engaged ... or if both people agree that marriage isn't in the future ... but there's a committment for the future that says "I'm happy to spend the rest of my days with you with or without marriage.") "Been there, done that" on the living together thing ... without a committment, it's not where I'll be going again.
To our OP ... I wouldn't worry about his desire to spend more time at his own place. It's a good, healthy thing. As long as your relationship is solid, this doesn't mean that he feels smothered ... just means that he wants his own space, too. And, there's ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with that.