what exactly is a date now a days?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2003
what exactly is a date now a days?
4
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 11:39pm
I met a girl at a get together at my friend's house. I've hung out with several times with her in group situations and everything was always strictly platonic. She suggested we get lunch one day, because we work very close together, so I agreed. We got lunch together the next week as well. I really enjoy our conversations.

At the lunch we talked about movies and I told her that I couldn't believe she didn't know who a certain filmmaker was so I took her to see one of his movies. Everything was very friendly and casual.

Two days later I get a call from a friend of mine and he mentions the "date" I had with the girl. Apparently she told a few of her friends that we went on a few dates and it got back to my friend.

I'm just confused. If our outing, which I thought was just way too casual, a date, then I've been on hundreds or dates.

Am I supposed to say, "I'm going to take you to see this movie, but only as your friend" before inviting someone to see a movie with me?

It's not like a made a move during the whole outing or made any kind of romantic compliment or something. I was just me. I really enjoy her company, but I kind of have mixed feelings about her calling it a date.

Has anyone else been through something like this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 2:33am
usually a true date implies some sort of romantic intention...

SHE might have thought it was a date... some people consider dates just when you do something with someone else...

but if you have intentions of her just being a friend... then it wasn't a date.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 9:36am
royaltannenbaum...

If you are seen in a public place with a member of the opposite sex...people who know (or with) you assume you're on a date! Part of their question deals with curiosity---and the rest is just a way of being...err...CUTE! Either way..it's not that big a deal!

What's important is if you enjoy each other's company...and apparently...the two of you do, right?

It isn't necessary to provide a detailed explanation to friends, co-workers or family members when they ask you about your social life. One sentence will sum it up:

"Jane" is a great girl and the two of us are friends.

After that...don't offer any further information unless you want to.

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 11:27am
Hello royaltennenbaum!

 
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 2:46pm
Did you pay for her? If your intent isn't romantic, then you shouldn't do so, as it will send her the wrong signals. She obviously has a romantic interest in you (or she wouldn't have referred to the outing as a date), so if you don't share that, then you need to make clear to her that your interest is just platonic, so that she doesn't feel lead on. Bringing up the topic of platonic friendships between men and women might be a good way to segue into you saying that you really enjoy her company and hope the two of you are on your way to forming such a friendship.

Sheri