what is going on in his head

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
what is going on in his head
1
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 3:51pm
i really need your advice so please tell me what is happening,so i'll start by telling you the basics,i had been with my partner for 13yrs,3 kids to him.before i met him he had a brief relationship with a girl, result a child the mother moved away and refused to let him see the child.14yrs later the child wants to see her dad,he is delighted, they meet up, all is great, then the mother starts phoning late into the night to discuss her miserable marriage,saying she is moving back home.she leaves her husband who she also has a child to, my ex picks her up and then comes home and tells me he hasnt loved me for years and leaves me.very jerry spinger,this all happened in about 2 wks.my world fell apart,my kids seen her from day 1. but i have got used to her spending time with my kids(though it was hard),most of the time we didnt speak as he usually flaunted her and his new wonderful life in my face.things have changed now he isnt that happy he keeps leaving her for whatever reason. when this happens he tries it on with me, sometimes he is still with her but i dont know this until after. most times i sleep with him but i feel so hurt when he goes back to her.he has fallen out with her again and again he tried it on but this time i said no,even though i wanted to.most people tell me he rushed into all this and is now regretting it but he isnt coming across with any "im sorry,i still love you" signals.
WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME? AND WHAT DO I DO?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 4:36pm

Hi,

I am sorry for what you are going through. You say that your partner told you he hadn't loved you in years and leaves you and then he flaunts his supposedly happy life in your face and then when things aren't working out with the one he left you for he comes back to you and you let him? Honesly, who cares what is going on in his head... you need to tell him to take a hike. I was seriously surprised (to say the least) that you allowed him back into your life after the crappy way he treated you. I think this guy doesn't know what he wants and since you are there for him he is going to take what you give him. He hasn't treated you with any respect and your allowing him to get away with it is indication that you don't respect yourself. I am not trying to sound harsh with you but you really need to stay completely away from him. I am 100% positive that you can do better than him. I do wish you luck in whatever you decide to do. Lucy