what is going through his head?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2003
what is going through his head?
2
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 12:53am
I just recently broke up with my bf of 4 years and i am now (sorta) seeing someone who also just broke up with a long term gf. We already made it clear that we dont know where the relationship (if it even is one) is going, we're afraid of the whole rebound business, but we enjoy eachothers company and hooking up.
The problem is that he'll say things like "i'll call you" but he doesnt. Or he'll say "lets meet up tomarrow, i have nothing planned" and then the next day he is bragging about how is going out with a group of friends, totally ignoring the fact that he made plans with me.
The other night he called me 5 times just to talk while he was out with other people, but the next few days have been a series of, "lets meet up tomarrow, i'll call you" than the next day its "im going to bed now" or "i have homework". I realize that we dont really have a relationship and i dont even know if it is considered dating, but i do like this guy and im pretty sure he likes me. So what is going through his head? Is it just a wierd game of hard to get or is he seeing someone else? Everyone i've told this too is as completely clueless as i am.
Please, if you have any suggestions please respond.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 6:57am

Hi gabums,


You have the answer to this question already. <<We already made it clear that we dont know where the relationship (if it even is one) is going, we're afraid of the whole rebound business, but we enjoy eachothers company and hooking up.>>


What's going on in his head is that this is a no commitment, no strings attached relationship. You are just hooking up and he probably sees no reason for common courtesy such as keeping his word, etc. He's not really placing any importance on what is going on between you guys.


It seems to me that you are hoping for more, especially when wondering what's going on in his head. My suggestion would be to end the affair. I think there's only going to be one person who winds up getting hurt and that's you.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 9:56am

My guess is that he's probably just irresponsible with his words and commitments. He says, "I'll call you" or "We'll hang out tomorrow" just because either it's an easy way to end the conversation, or because at the moment, when he's with you, it seems like a good idea. Either way he hasn't seriously thought it through. Then the next day when he's got other things he wants to do he changes his mind, and he either doesn't realize or doesn't care that he's being irresponsible by promising you something and then changing his mind.

It's probably also a sign that he's not that into you, or it'd be more important for him to see you after he's told you he would. He likes you, but he doesn't like you THAT much.