What happened?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
What happened?!
1
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 9:19pm

I met this gorgeous guy almost 3 months ago. He hit on me but I rejected him but then started talking and i was smitten. I gave him my msn and the next day we chat for hours. We started dating and he was very affectionted with me, very sweet, hugging me, bringing chocolates to me as gifts, etc. He has a large family and is close to them and also lovess babies...So i was like, this is great!! He would call often, tell me a lot about his life, see each other 2 or 3 times a week, I even went to his house to met his baby nephew and his mother (presented me as a friend).
Background: he is 30, lost his job, living at home, very veryyyy close to his buddies (almost like marriage with them).
Well, 3 weeks ago he was acting different, not calling so much, not seeing so much, etc...well, he was the with a knee problem and a final, so i let it passed. Then the next week was the same until i run into him at a party and hit it off and he was his usual self for a couple of days, but to go back to this new him after. I asked him if there was something going on and he told me that he was ok with me but acted rare because had so many things on his head (job, college, life). Ok. Yesterday i run into him again and he was distant, not very into me and told me he would call today, today we chatted a little about stuff, and then i aked him (by msn)when we were going out and he said he didnt know, so i call him and he was like "i dont know because im working now (on his own), etc..." and i was like "pleasee, im a grown up, dont put me in stan by, tell whats the deal"...thats when he got a phone call on the other line and told me he would call in 5 min (he has to get those calls because he lives with his rents and bros)...and never called back!!!! I feel soooo stupid!!! I just wanted to see if its over or not, to hear it from him...but he is acting soo cowerly!!!I cant take it! I really like a lot this gorgeous guy, and his sweet attitude...now im hurt and feeling stupid because he cant be upfront!
For the record: we dated for 2 months before he had sex (he respected me a lot) and he had great chemistry.

Help!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Fri, 11-19-2004 - 4:11pm
Look, the whole purpose of dating is to find a person who is interested in you, who you are interested in...and the interest grows over time instead of fades. Get it? His interest in you is fading and there is nothing you can do about it. Pursuing him and making yourself look desperate won't help, so stop. Please. When interest starts to fade after weeks or a couple months of dating it means one person has discovered the other is not exactly the right person for him or her (even though they may still want to hang out occasionally, chat you up, have sex, etc). That doesn't mean you did anything wrong if their feelings change. It just means you need to keep looking. Remember -- the right person for you will stay interested in you as time goes on. Use that as your guide and don't stop looking until you find that.