what is he looking for?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2007
what is he looking for?
2
Tue, 10-16-2007 - 2:51pm
okay, so there's this guy named mike that i've been hookup buddies with for about 2 years. i'm 22, he's 23. for a little over a year it was just physical, neither of us was looking for more, but then things started changing. he would call me for no reason a couple times a month (btw, he lives about two hours away from me, i'm friends with his younger brother). before we'd just get together and hook up but then it changed to him wanting to know how school was going and other idle chit chat and then the hook up. i ended up getting sick in march and had to drop out of school and mike called me to check up and to make sure i was okay. we ended up calling each once or twice a week to talk and then he invited me to a camping trip with his friends. unfortunately i couldn't go and i didn't hear back from him for a while. then in august he calls me up and i invite him to my birthday party but he said he had to work. b-day party rolls around and he shows up! we hook up as usual, but some things were different. he was holding my hand, he'd pull me over to cuddle with him, there were times he would stop and just look at me for a long time, things he's never really done before!
a couple weeks later he calls to tell me he's coming up for the weekend and asked if i was going to be around. i said yes and told him to call me. i hear from him 1am friday night/saturday morning and he comes over and watches tv for a bit and then we head to bed. we talked for a long time about stuff like books we've read, scary movies, etc and when that wasn't going on he was trying to wrestle with me. we hooked up and i fell asleep with his arms wrapped around me. the next morning the alarm went off and he immediately grabbed me. his brother kept calling because they had a wedding to go to that day and mike kept telling him 15 more minutes. he finally gets up and leaves and asks if i'm going to be around tonight, and i said probably. later that night i went to a party that he was at. i wasn't giving him that much special attention and neither was he. i was playing drinking games and he was playing monopoly. i went over to his game and sat next to him and i kept noticing he was paying special attention to this other girl. he'd say her name everytime it was her turn, he would look at her a lot, stuff like that. maybe i was overanalyzing, i don't know. anyway, it was getting late and my ride left without me and i overhear mike's brother say something about leaving with me. mike sits down next to me, nudges me and asks if i'm ready to go. we leave like 15 minutes later and walk back to my place. we don't talk very much. we get to my place and head to bed and start talking a bit. i wasn't in a very good mood and he tries to start kissing me and i don't kiss back and he asks what's wrong. i told him i didn't want to talk about it and he kept pestering me and asked if i wanted to talk about it in the morning and that i should tell him because he's a good listener. then he asks if i wanted to do anything tonight or should we just go to sleep and i replied i wasn't tired. then he changes gears and we start talking about other things, he discovers i'm very ticklish and won't stop tickling me! then he starts talking about the first time we hooked up and how he had fun and that it was a good time. we do hook up in the end and get to sleep. in the afternoon we get up and he leaves and that is that.
so i guess the point of this post is: what is he looking for? i like the guy a lot, i have fun with him and i'd be open for something more. i've told him i have fun with him and after i don't see him a while that i miss him, but i never get much of a response out of him. but he does get on my case if i don't call him and he always saying stuff like "oh, if you would have told me you wanted that, i would have gotten that for you." i don't really know what to make of it all. and i'm hestitant to think that maybe he does like me because i've been fooled before and gotten hurt by guys. i'm growing tired of just being hook up buddies and i want to talk to him but i'm scared. i don't want to talk about it on the phone because i hate talking on the phone and i get way too nervous. should i talk to him before we hookup or after or what? and what do i say to him? ugh, not very good at this stuff at all! sorry about the novel-long post, if anyone gets to this part please let me know what you think! thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Tue, 10-16-2007 - 3:56pm

Wow, tough one!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 10-16-2007 - 4:51pm

allieshmatt makes good points.